"Loving her was easier than anything I'll ever do again "

I lost my wife just over a year ago and like most people on this forum I’m struggling to cope with my loss.
We were quite content with our own company and shared every available moment together so now Joan has gone what do I do with my mornings,how do I fill in my evenings?
I find a sort of refuge in music,I was just listening to Janis Ian singing “When Angels Cry” such a well sculptured song and presented beautifully but sad.
Then to change the mood to something more positive I played “Behind the Clouds” by Brad Paisley. It made me smile,for a while anyway.
It was good to share my thoughts with all of you out there.
Don’t be too harsh on yourselves,I hope you find your peace soon.


Dear @BartParker

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. That is why we are here. I am sure there are many members on here who can identify with you as to you and your wife being content with each other.

Here at Sue Ryder there is useful supportive information on Bereavement and Coping with Grief. Have you considered looking to see if there are any local bereavement support groups in your area you could join?

I have not heard of the songs you have mentioned but will do today. I hope you have a good day and please continue to reach out and look after yourself.

Take care.


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I find comfort in music too I came across joey and Rory fooks ‘when I’m gone’ and how shocking that she too has died of cancer herself at forty two, she was so brave I didn’t realise until I looked them up on Google and I love this song xx


I have played more music in the last year since my husband died. You are all right it brings me comfort and while playing it you don’t need to concentrate on anything else.
I play alot of music from the shows, but my go to comfort music is Christian, especially Graham Kendrick which what I am playing right now. :heart:

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Thanks for your message,I heard this heart rendering song(When I’m Gone)a year or so ago,it was a tear jerker then because my brave beautiful wife Joan was battling with cancer and when I just played it again now,my eyes just flowed with tears.Joan is at peace now and no more radiotherapy,operations,medical appointments and most importantly no more pain.Thank you again for sharing this song,it was a bitter,sweet moment.
Kind thoughts Bart.

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Hi Debbie, I’m afraid I haven’t heard of Graham Kendrick but I will definitely You Tube it later.
The most relaxing therapeutic music for me anyway is strangely enough “Gregorian Chants” mainly sung in Latin but not having to listen to a narrative is a bonus.
Nice to meet you,I hope your love for music continues to grant you solace through these difficult times.
Kind regards Bart.