I lost my husband 2 months ago after 63 years together. I am really trying to join in things when I can but always want to cry at unexpected moments. There are times when I can still laugh with family and friends but the future does feel so sad without my lovely kind man beside me. Does everyone feel the same?
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Absolutely, I do! I can laugh and chat and join in but still feel like you.
Last few days have been harder than usual but generally I cope quite well. I donât look at the future, I canât cope with that. Iâm 15 weeks in.
Ali
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@Maggie5
Yes, pretty much the same, I lost my wife of 49 years just about 12 months ago. Childhood sweetheart, girlfriend, lover, wife, mother to our children and best friend.
If asked, I usually pretend to be OK, I think itâs what people expect you to say, although, very few bother to ask now.
I can laugh and people will say: âWell, youâve still got your sense of humourâ; if only they knew.
Memories? Apparently, other things that I should be grateful for having. I find without the person I made them with, visiting them is like going into an unfurnished room in an uninhabited house. I donât go there often.
I try to keep busy during the day but donât enjoy the empty evenings and look forward to bedtime.
As we tread this road together, there wonât be many who donât feel exactly like you, I and @Ali29.
I wish you both solace.
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Absolutely I do. Itâs 7 weeks for me . I was with him from being 19 , Iâm now 53.
I too sit with friends & family and sometimes laugh but inside Iâm still crying & want to scream out loud.
Even though we have all probably said often â tomorrowâs not promised â I think deep down we also think â it wonât happen to us â but it has & itâs the WORST heartbreak Iâve ever experienced & I hate it. I just donât see any light and the end of this very dark tunnel 
Sending you love xx
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I think it helps knowing everyone feels the same and the future looks black at the moment. Everyone tells me not to expect too much of myself and take a day at a time. Hope you feel happier soon.xx
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I know itâs only people trying to be nice and think they are saying the right thing or helping??
But I hate all those commentsâŚ
Good to see you smilingâŚ
You look well/ you look greatâŚ
Heâd be proud of youâŚ
Youâre doing so wellâŚ
Youâre so strongâŚ
You were lucky to have what you hadâŚ
Hugs to all you who understand 
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You are right about helpful comments not always being welcome but it would be very sad if everyone ignored the subject. It would them seem if it had all been forgotten which could be worse. Iâm sure we all do our best to at least look cheerful even if we are really feeling very sad inside. xxx
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I know!!! They have no idea . Even simple tasks seem to be hard . Iâm sure someone has a voodoo doll of me somewhere , honestly itâs it not bad enough my best friend has been stolen with making everything else such a challenge. Arrrrgh!!!
Sorry rant over , really bad day !! xx
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Definitely understand. Tom wouldnât want me to go around looking like a bag lady. So I put my makeup on, keep my hair tidy and look smart. Makes no difference how I am not coping inside
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