I lost my husband 2 months ago after 63 years together. I am really trying to join in things when I can but always want to cry at unexpected moments. There are times when I can still laugh with family and friends but the future does feel so sad without my lovely kind man beside me. Does everyone feel the same?


Absolutely, I do! I can laugh and chat and join in but still feel like you.
Last few days have been harder than usual but generally I cope quite well. I don’t look at the future, I can’t cope with that. I’m 15 weeks in.



Yes, pretty much the same, I lost my wife of 49 years just about 12 months ago. Childhood sweetheart, girlfriend, lover, wife, mother to our children and best friend.
If asked, I usually pretend to be OK, I think it’s what people expect you to say, although, very few bother to ask now.
I can laugh and people will say: “Well, you’ve still got your sense of humour”; if only they knew.
Memories? Apparently, other things that I should be grateful for having. I find without the person I made them with, visiting them is like going into an unfurnished room in an uninhabited house. I don’t go there often.
I try to keep busy during the day but don’t enjoy the empty evenings and look forward to bedtime.
As we tread this road together, there won’t be many who don’t feel exactly like you, I and @Ali29.
I wish you both solace.



Absolutely I do. It’s 7 weeks for me . I was with him from being 19 , I’m now 53.

I too sit with friends & family and sometimes laugh but inside I’m still crying & want to scream out loud.

Even though we have all probably said often ‘ tomorrow’s not promised ‘ I think deep down we also think ‘ it won’t happen to us ‘ but it has & it’s the WORST heartbreak I’ve ever experienced & I hate it. I just don’t see any light and the end of this very dark tunnel :sleepy::broken_heart:

Sending you love xx


I think it helps knowing everyone feels the same and the future looks black at the moment. Everyone tells me not to expect too much of myself and take a day at a time. Hope you feel happier soon.xx


I know it’s only people trying to be nice and think they are saying the right thing or helping??
But I hate all those comments…
Good to see you smiling…
You look well/ you look great…
He’d be proud of you…
You’re doing so well…
You’re so strong…
You were lucky to have what you had…

Hugs to all you who understand :hugs:

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You are right about helpful comments not always being welcome but it would be very sad if everyone ignored the subject. It would them seem if it had all been forgotten which could be worse. I’m sure we all do our best to at least look cheerful even if we are really feeling very sad inside. xxx

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I know!!! They have no idea . Even simple tasks seem to be hard . I’m sure someone has a voodoo doll of me somewhere , honestly it’s it not bad enough my best friend has been stolen with making everything else such a challenge. Arrrrgh!!!

Sorry rant over , really bad day !! :broken_heart::sleepy:xx


Definitely understand. Tom wouldn’t want me to go around looking like a bag lady. So I put my makeup on, keep my hair tidy and look smart. Makes no difference how I am not coping inside

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