Making decisions alone

I lost my husband just over a year ago. 2 months after that my mother age 93 went into care home. I have been able to visit her through glass. I am 72 and now live alone and with the current lockdown and the infections soaring I can’t decide if it is safe to continue the visits. I feel so alone my only son lives 50 miles away and is himself shielding. I don’t want Mum to feel abandoned but know I must be sensible. I am finding it so difficult to decide what to do .

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Hi Linda2
If It were me I would make sure I had taken all the precautions to keep myself safe keeping distance from outsiders wearing a mask cleaning hands and so on. Knowing that I have done all these things I would then visit my mum talking through the glass.
Time is not on our side in life and we can never get it back. Time seems to have sped up.
No one can tell you what to do just go with what feels right in your gut.
Be safe

Thank you for your response. I know there isn’t a right and a wrong. I seem to be doubting myself where I would have known what to do. The home is where my husband spent his last 3 months on end of life support, the staff are marvellous but visits are still emotional.

Hi Linda I cant imagine visiting your mother whilst knowing your husband spent his last days there. I can only sympathise from afar. Its a tough decision either way making the choice with emotions all over the place. Do what feels right for you

I’m going to make the decision later. In normal circumstances l would plan things but these aren’t normal times. The situation is changing rapidly. Take care and stay safe yourself

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One thing to consider is how you would travel there. On public transport here in Liverpool there are too many not wearing masks. I hope you reach your decision. I find it useful to write down the advantages of doing, not doing and the disadvantages of doing and not doing. Then ideally I don’t decide until the next day so I have time to sleep on it. Could the home facilitate re an I pad? Take care.

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