Making decisions

Life is really hard on your own. I can trundle the bins out every week, change lightbulbs, read meters, set up new router for the computer ( after a fashion) and sort out bills but I really struggle to make decisions. I need new windows because some are leaking, I find some companies specifically ask if I will be on my own when a salesman call. I had to be rescued the other day by my son as a salesman was giving me the hard sell. I just find it all so hard. We never wanted this did we? It just makes me cry I feel so bloody helplessness

Windows is indeed hard. We had 6 companies over whilst my husband was here and we chose on the way they treated us rather than price in the end. indeed several of them did the tactic of calling the manager for a better price hardsell tactic. my husband actually told safestyle to f-ing get out of our house after we caught him going into bedrooms when he asked to use the loo (clearly obvious so not a mistake). Apparently they like to nose around the house to see what usually you might be able to afford before they quote. Using covid situation to your advantage to not let them in until you want to sounds therefore a good suggestion.

I am on my own now in a house we’d been renovating which is one of the many things panicking me as my husband was super talented with DIY so did most things himself that now I’ll have to use tradesmen for.

My therapist gave me homework of arranging one thing off my 63 point list to show i can do it. I chose gutters as they are unhitched and water pours onto the house in rain so it seemed most urgent. My husband had been planning to buy a bigger ladder and pop it back in during the week of his unexpected death.

When the guy came to quote I pretended my husband was inside but wfh on a call so couldn’t speak to him but that I’d discuss with him later.

They are coming today to do the work and I’m really nervous now and wishing I’d not done it as i went ahead with replacing the whole house gutters fascia boards and soffit because the guy told me it couldn’t be repaired how my husband said. I should have got more quotes but I couldn’t face it and this company checked out on the Internet research.

We were planning to have it all done and I thought if this company does the lot I might as well to save having to do that separately.
I can’t move the car so having to put tarp on it. it’s right in the way. I don’t drive and battery will be flat by now, also its very tricky to park in the right place as there is barely any room due a skip there left from when my husband had been digging up the drive.

Guy told me yesterday he needs cash payment too so had to ask for help with that… I logged on here because I feel so nervous my stomach is going mad. They should be here in 3 or 4 hours… what have I done…

So I know it is daunting… Good luck… its horrible without them in so many new ways isn’t it.

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My sympathies to all you ladies.
My husband always left me to deal with salesmen as I could argue the price and deal with salesmen better than Brian, (he was too nice) I thought I knew all the tricks but sadly I have just been caught!!!
My hot boiler broke down just before Christmas. It is very difficult where I live to get workmen but I called in a reputable firm and they came immediately, however a few weeks later the boiler broke down again and they didn’t come back for another 4 weeks, so all that time with no hot water. When I received the bill I was shocked and consulted another firm to see what they said about the price and was told I had been overcharged. The first firm was challenged and I was told the bill was a mistake, so I waited patiently for an amended bill which of course never came and I was receiving constant telephone calls demanding payment. I don’t have the strength anymore to put up a fight which was never me and this incident has made me feel very vulnerable and know this ‘reputable’ firm saw me coming. As I want other work done I am dreading it but I will make sure I get a quote in writing next time and perhaps I will pretend my husband is around somewhere. I would be very suspicious of someone wanting cash though so do be careful here.

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I always pretend that Steve is at work and I will discuss it with him.

My husband’s best friend and also a former neighbour have been really good. So many things have gone wrong in the house and with the car since my husband died. They have trusted contacts in various trades and brought them in to help me out. I gave up my job after husband died and just need the money to stop flowing in the wrong direction. Got the new council bill yesterday - £43 per month increase - and it just upset me so much.

Thank you Pattidot. My gutter men were two hours late and I thought it was because of the slight disagreement i had via text with the manager but turned out to be their van had broken down (they said…). All was done and they were very polite, I kept up the pretence of my husband being around as they asked me a few questions about why we had such a big satellite dish (my husband spent weeks calibrating it to pick up Dutch satellite TV) and about the garden things my husband had made,

My mum and stepdad came to support me which was a bit challenging at first as they were telling me a lot of other information at 8.30am when I could only focus on the gutters. It worked out well though so i had my stepdad as a witness (and my doorbell camera) when I counted out the 1400 in cash (which stepdad also helped me with gathering in cash by using multiple accounts)…

So phew, the job was done. I don’t want to be too pleased yet until I am sure it doesnt fall off but right now it looks tonnes better at least and if it all works when the rains return then I will feel very satisfied despite how I felt yesterday morning.

I’m sad my husband wasn’t here to see this. Things keep moving on without him.

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Dear @Pattidot (and ladies),
My wife was very much like you, much better at dealing with tradesmen and salesmen than I was. We always found it an absolute nightmare getting decent, reliable tradsemen for any home repairs. The most recent ones we used I found through (hope I’m not breaking the site rules by saying that) and they were generally very good. It’s just a suggestion, but might be of some help.

Although I was always the one to deal with traders I absolutely hated it. When Ron died I needed the garden decking replaced and trusted my daughters partner who gave me a very reasonable price. I never got a contract because I classed him as family but he messed me around for weeks and kept asking for money upfront. I ended up with all my decking taken out and no new decking
He made excuse after excuse due to lockdown and then said he didn’t want to do it but only offered me £300 back. I lost nearly £1000. I lost my confidence completely and it caused a huge family rift. On the other hand a lovely gent repaired my toilet and quoted me but then wanted to give me some money back when he heard I was a widow…It is a nightmare to trust people and a big worry to know they might not be able to do the job properly.I am dreading the next job which is to get some flooring done.

I always say that I’m going to talk to my son before I sign anything. In fact he came up and threw out a double glazing salesman . I do tend to rely on him a lot.