Although my partner left a will naming me as the executor and leaving me the house (bless him!), he made no mention of what he wanted me to do about his funeral, so I am second-guessing what he would have liked. Hopefully I am doing right by him.
So, when I come round to making my will (very soon), I am going to be very clear about what I want people to do, that is, cremate me and for my ashes to be merged with his and then scattered in a beautiful spot we both loved, probably in the sea at Aldeburgh in Suffolk.
I think it is very important to make our wishes known rather than for our loved ones to guess and hope they are doing right by us. The last thing all of us need is the worry that our loved ones wanted something different. We have enough things to worry about!
I totally agree, when my hubby was give an life expectancy, we both took out and paid for funeral plans and our wishes for the funeral written down. Also renewed our Will at the same time. As Doug has died first I now also written a letter to both our children, telling how proud we are if them but also where to find everything they need for admin purposes.
I am so sorry, your husband’s dying is hard enough to bare without all the worry about his funeral. I’m sure what ever decisions you have made it will be the right one.
Sending love, Debbie x
Good for you Shelia. Your post made me smile.
It is a serious point though, I didn’t know what my husband wanted as his funeral as he died suddenly at age 55, but I knew what he didn’t want, religion, church etc.
I found picking music so difficult and very upsetting. So anything we can do to make the process easier for our children we should do.
My wife had everything she wanted in her funeral, she had it all written down for me .
A wonderful service and a wonderful accolade to the hospice St Oswalds, it was all in her own words , her music, the coffin and flowers in a non religious service .
Everything was exactly as she asked and I felt so proud of her , she made everything so easy for me .
Oh your post made me smile.
You sound exactly like me. Luckily my daughters know exactly what I am like and wouldn’t dream of burying me without 6" heels. I am 72 now and still wear them everywhere. In fact if I don’t wear them then people actually comment and ask if I am ill. I have told them I must have make up done properly and my best dress on.I always made a point of saying there is no way I must go underground and my husband used to joke that a crypt would cost too much so I have left instructions to be cremated ,as my Ron was, and for us both to be scattered together.
My daughters are nothing like me at all and my eldest daughter always tells everyone that her mum is a ‘lady’ I always think of that as a lovely compliment.
I told my daughters that if I look a mess there is no way they must let anyone see me.
Thank you for making me smile. Your posts are always so vivid. Definitely a lady who knows of principle. Xx