Making it hard f

When will I learn?? Tonight, I put some of my darling’s aftershave on the back of my hand and now I can’t stop crying. That beautiful smell that I loved on him is making me so sad and making my grief I worse. I thought being able to smell him would help, but it so does not! Also, it smells slightly different on my skin and I take that as punishment for being so stupid. I know that I can never bring him back so how can I learn to live with that?
I feel worse tonight than I can remember feeling before.

So sorry you’re having such a bad night. You tried to do something that might make you feel better, but sadly it has made you feel worse. We are all different, and what works for one doesn’t always work for another, and in this horrendous journey of grief we’re all trying to learn what does work for us and what doesn’t. You definitely were not stupid, you’re trying to do things to help yourself, tonight you did something that didn’t work, we can only hope that the next time you try something, it ends up giving you some confort and not the pain you are suffering from tonight.

Really hope you’re able to get some sleep soon and that tomorrow is a better day for you.

Hi. Ann. I know, you may feel awful and heartbroken, but tears can so often bring a little relief. Please don’t think of yourself as being punished or being stupid. Nothing in grief is like that. If it is then we are all stupid, and that is far from the case. We all live with this awful pain because what’s the alternative? ‘Give up’? Better to ‘give in’ to the feelings than give up. Emotions will come and it will seem hard for a time. Give yourself time. So difficult I know, because the grief seems endless. We are all here for you. Sending love and Blessings and you are in my prayers. John.

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Thank you Abdullah and Jonathan123. I managed about three hours sleep and then gave up. Perhaps I will nap later. This is so hard and that little episode has knocked me for six. But others cope and so will I.
Thank you for your support. X

You will, yes you will cope. Now keep that thought in the forefront of your mind. No matter what else happens ‘I will cope’. Thoughts are powerful and they can be negative or positive. Having positive thoughts in grief is so very difficult, but it is possible given the will. take care. John.

Dear Lonely,
Thank you for caring. That sounds like a good idea, just to sniff the bottle. I think the problem was that the scent was with me all day and just became too much of a reminder. Being a good product, it didn’t even wash off, the scent still lingered. Not that I don’t think about him all day but doing chores, speaking to friends and family and so on, tend to break it up a little and ease the pain ready for the next onslaught.
I remember Old Spice and I liked it in the 60s. I seem to remember it became a bit of a joke for some reason and was ridiculed. Don’t know why. I, for one, liked it a lot.