My Mam died just over 3 years ago. The day she died we were having a cup of coffee around 9:30am & she took a pain in her head, by 10:30am she fell out my arms & we never spoke again. I gave her CPR for 20 minutes until the ambulance came but she never came back. I struggle everyday with if I had done something different would she still be here, but I was told it was a catastrophic haemorrhage.
Although the shock & trauma of that day, I cope a little better with, it never leaves me, I miss her everyday because she was my Mam but also my best friend, it feels like grieving for two people. I find it hard to talk to people about how I feel as I think they must think, its been years, get over it Di, I never want to burden anyone with my thoughts & feelings & some days I tell myself I should be over these feelings. The pain is unbearable some days.
I still have my Dad, a great husband & my sister & her family, but its being the family burden that is hard for me after this time…