Hey,
So I lost my estranged mum a year and 10 months ago, I always feel like an imposter when I talk about my grief because I’m mourning what could have been if we connected rather than those grieving their role model. I was only 2 when she went so it’s hard because I never truly met her and she didn’t know me and who I became despite her absence but I still lose so much sleep over this. My grief feels fake but so overwhelming at the same time. In April it will be 2 years and it’ll also be when I finish my last uni semester so anytime someone mentions assignments or the end my mind goes straight to my mum rather than my assignments and it’s hard. Last year around this time I started having panic attacks again and was struggling a lot, so far I haven’t had a bad panic attack again but I’m definitely struggling with no one to really talk too. How do you deal with daily grief and anniversaries/ the run up to them cuz I would really appreciate any help I could get right now
Hello @T132220,
I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your estranged mum that brings you here.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You may find it helpful to read our article coping with important dates on our Grief Guide platform.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Naoise
Hi @T132220. There’s absolutely no doubt how difficult it is. We’ve all been there, and many are still fighting through it. But we eventually find our own way through it.
You specifically mentioned anniversaries. It took me a while to get my head around it, but I started looking at them as an opportunity to look back and remember the great times we had on birthdays, etc. I now look forward to them, because I celebrate them by going back to the places we loved, to see her. I treat them like I had a date with her, all excited to see her, and have a good chat, as long as nobody is listening.
In March I’ll meet her at the top of a hill in Derbyshire, in April I’ll see her on our favourite beach in Anglesey, I’m still working on our wedding day in May❤️.
We both hated Xmas, so that doesn’t give me any problem to ignore!
There will be an odd emotional moment, but mostly smiles.
They were happy days, and still can be (just a bit different), so that’s why I recall them as happy
Good luck.