So yesterday was the funeral.theyve burnt my beautiful Graham ( what he wanted). Today I’m struggling and can’t stop crying. I’m alone. Tired and in pain. I don’t want to be here. Help me how do I cope xx
I think it does suddenly hit home after the funeral that they’ve gone. I learnt, it’s now just over 7 months for me, that if you need to scream, if you need to cry or if you need to curl up in a little ball just do it. Being alone is so very hard and it is at times very difficult to see anything positive. You basically need to take one day at a time, grab any help that is offered you and breathe. Take care Gail xx
The funeral for me, was finality. He wasn’t going to come back now, it wasn’t a mistake. The Reverend told us we’d move to another level of peace, that was a load of bull. I spent many a day sobbing and not knowing what to do with myself but then, you do move through it. 2 months after I went back to work, gently eased back in and that was a turning point for me.
I have a very supportive family and great bunch of girls at work and they have been great.
It will be 8 months on the 29th and I’m up and down, good days and bad days. I miss him more than ever but I have a life worth living. It has got easier for me because I won’t let grief win. My man would want me to live and get on with life and I will . He won’t want to see me miserable and upset, that would hurt him and upset him to think he can’t come down and be with me from wherever he is.
Life is cruel for sure x
@Ali29 I love that, ‘ I won’t let grief win’! We are only grieving because we have loved and we are all very lucky to have experienced that! My husband worked all his life so we could have a comfortable retirement which he didn’t get to enjoy! I need to do the best I can for us both. J x
@Manda23 We keep going till the funeral because there is so much to sort out, then it’s over and the next stage begins. I know you were worried about the funeral but you got through it so be proud! I hope the band was a success! You will have many good days and bad days but I know from experience that although the hurt never goes away it does get easier! I was crying several times a day at the beginning. I do still cry but not like at he beginning and I have felt comfort from this site knowing that the people on here understand! J x
I am sorry that you have lost your partner and that you are tired and in pain. This is understandable as you are in the very early stages of grief.
Have you seen the blog by Sue Ryder Losing a Partner , it may be of help to you along with the following resources. The Grief Coach may especially be of help to you.
- The self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief Grief Guide
- Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS. This service is also useful for family and friends
- Information on the Stages of Grief
- Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
Have you had a look at the Sue Ryder Counselling which is held via video chat ?
There is an organisation called AtALoss which helps bereaved people find support and well-being. It may well be worth you taking a look at the website for support. You can chat live for free to a bereavement counsellor Monday-Friday 9am - 9pm.
There is also the Samaritans to talk to available 24/7 365 days a year. It might also be helpful for you to chat to your doctor to let them know how you feel and to see how they can support you.
Cruse Bereavement have advice on how to cope with the Loneliness 13. It would be worth having a read.
If you type in the search bar Loneliness you can connect with members here who have experienced what you are going through.
You need to take one day at a time and be gentle with yourself. Grief is a horrible journey and everyone’s journey is different. We the Community are here for you, you are not alone, we understand the pain of losing a loved one. Keep talking to us here.
Take care of yourself.
It is a load of bull … i fell apart after funeral xxx