Marking time, after loss

I wonder if other people find that the years after a significant loss, are a blur. I lost my mother 4 years ago, this June. I cannot believe it has been that long. I do not know much about those years. They were just time passing. Lost years. My dad in 2013. Also, lost years. As if this time, was of no importance.

Like a void.

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Hi berit it’s been 21 years since my dad died and I have had several careers, relationships, homes and a child
Without my dad its been sad but ive had a life.
However, since my mum passed suddenly 10 months ago I’ve just survived, not lived.
It’s been a horrible existence but I’m trying to make it a life for my partner and daughter but time is passing and I’m not living at all x

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I think that this is a normal reaction, and I am so sorry for your loss. 10 months is not long at all. it does seem like an existence, as one tries to carry on. a pandemic stalls out any real progress one might make, as well.

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Hi. Berit. Yes! It’s 18 months since my wife died and where 2019 went I know not. I can hardly remember what I did or where I went. This year has been better, but with all the restrictions it’s becoming like a bad dream. I wonder if nature allows our minds to shut down, to rest. We go through the motions like conditioned robots in the early stages. We eat and maybe sleep, but we seem dulled by what has happened. Is it at all surprising?
I often find myself thinking it was only yesterday it happened. Memory can be a curse as well as a Blessing. Take care and like all of us perhaps we need more time. Kind wishes. John.

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I find that time does not have meaning anymore, of course I miss not seeing our children, grandson and great grandson. Each day seems to roll into one and I can never remember which day of the week it is.
Blessings,
Mary

Oh yes Mary, I do know. I often seem to make a fool of myself by suggesting it’s a day it isn’t. Weekends I find difficult. Last week I did all the things I normally do on a Sunday on Saturday thinking it was Sunday. When I turned TV on in the evening I was shocked to find it was still Saturday. I think we are so preoccupied with thoughts that we lose track of time. It reminds me of when, in the Middle Ages, they changed from the old Gregorian calendar to the new one we have today, There were riots because people thought they had been done out of 10 days of their lives! Time has little to do with calendars.
Hope you stay reasonably well. Blessings. John.

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