My husband died suddenly after a massive heart attack!!! Most of our children don’t visit and they’ve said they are too busy to visit over Christmas, this is the first Christmas without him!!! I’m angry and tired of their excuses!!! I have 3 children I see every day but the others don’t seem to care!!!


Sorry Mahl for what’s happened. I’m not newly widowed, it’s five years for me but I couldn’t not acknowledge your post.
Families can be funny things at the best of times can’t they. Relationships can change after a loss as well or maybe they may say they are busy but not able to cope with a gathering emotionally. Either way it must be a distressing situation. Don’t let it stop you from having some peace and restful reflection time. It’s just a couple of days, keep holding on x


Hi @Mahi,

I’m so sorry to hear about your Husband and that you aren’t getting the support you feel you need from some of your children. That is so very hard, particularly at this time of year and as you approach your first Christmas without your Husband.

I just wanted to reach out to let you know that you are not alone - I really hope you find the community helpful as you process all that is going on. If you feel you need more support or would find it helpful to talk to someone about how you are feeling, here are some website links for you:

You can find a quick-read wellbeing guide for bereaved people on the Sudden website. If you think they might be helpful, you can can also order free books on coping after a sudden death here.

You may also be able to find some support services closer to home on the At a Loss website - in the meantime, they also have a service called Grief Chat which enables people to speak with a bereavement counsellor.

This article on our website might also be helpful:

Thank you for bravely starting this thread - keep reaching out.

Do take care,

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So sorry you take care annie x x

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Thank you for your kindness and helpfulness in informing me of several things I can do to help cope with my grief, I have some support from at least 3 of my children and I appreciate them being here, but it makes me angry to feel and see the love and respect that the other children don’t have or even want to show to their father!! I’m slowly getting help and support myself, but they don’t even visit his grave anymore and that makes me realise how much they respect both of their parents!!!

Thank you, I’m slowly getting there, but I’m hurt by some of my children’s attitude and the fact that they not only ignore me, but they don’t visit his grave anymore, one daughter did, but complained because her fathers grave wasn’t finished and she demanded to know why? I’ve paid for his funeral and now with the help of 3 children we are paying for his headstone and surrounds, but they don’t visit him that often, yet he’s their father and I’m expected to pay for everything so that they have something nice to see if and when they do visit!!!

Soo sorry my daughter paid for her dads funeral even though I had insurance to pay it I’m so lucky lv annie x

I’m so sorry I’m lucky have 2 wonderfull. Children being there with me all the way love annie x