May help people

Coping with bereavement
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DON’T DIE WITH YOUR DEAD.

Did you know that when you cry for your dead, you cry for you and not them?

You cry because you “lost them”, because you don’t HAVE THEM by your side. You think it all ends in death. And you think they are NOT anymore.

So if your dead no more, where are they?.

Yes they have left, or they are now somewhere else, is that place better than this?.

Yes, definitely that place is better than this; so Why do you suffer for their departure?.

When you have finished accepting that they are no longer “NOT here”, but they are still in another place even better than this, for there where they are no longer sick, or suffering.

Then you’ll stop mourning them and you’ll get them back in memory so they keep accompanying you with the joy of all that you’ve lived.

If you truly loved them LOVE them AGAIN and this time with greater strength, with greater purity, with greater delivery.

Today, there will be no more reproach of any kind.

Only LOVE, will be the essence between you, between us, between them.

I respect your pain, and the way you express it. I know you cry and you will cry without comfort.

But … Today I say to you:
Don’t die with your dead.

Remember we are only seeing one side of the coin (death).

We are not looking the other way; we are not seeing the wonderful place of light where they stand.

What if we start seeing “death” as a Second Birth?

Second Birth we ALL will go through.

Don’t die with your dead, honor them by living your life as they would have wanted you to. , let them transcend. And you keep living.
:pray::green_heart::om:

Not sure if it will help some, not sure it’s going tk help me, but here is. I saw this posted :heart::heart: take from it what you will

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makes a good point but wallowing in grief is somehow a strange comfort. being strong after the pillars are knocked down from under you can be, for some, too much to ask. but nice point.

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Can’t say that I understand all of this @Ian4 but, I do subscribe to the sentiment “don’t die with your dead”.
That feeling is easier said than done though, some days.

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It was just somethin I saw posted on face book, so I thought I’ll share it for comment, it’s thinking a little bit out the box as I see it, only thing I’ll say is none of the people iv lost in my life time has ever come back to see me, so based on that and based on what we do in this life, how we build our material things around us that actually mean so much to us, we are or seem to be OK to leave it all behind and not come back looking for it, so has I see it that would posssibly mean iits better where they all have gone to, i think that how I see it anyway , hug and love to all :heart::heart:

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Thanks for posting @Ian4 . So much sense, whatever one’s beliefs or not. It’s hard though, isnt it, to replace feelings of loss, loneliness and anxiety with ones of comfort, relief and hope? Wish I knew how. Am trying to avoid wallowing and to become busy, do things, continue living life well, best as possible in these increasingly difficult times. But it’s really really hard. The ‘yawning emptinesses’ still harbour intense grief, pain and fear. I feel surely these should ease as I grow other useful parts of life?But they don’t ease, they feel worse if anything as though. Don’t understand, why for some people this helps, but not for me and some others. Can only keep trying I suppose and being patient :cry::crossed_fingers: I will keep reminding myself though of these sentiments, thanks.

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I posted recently ( under grief/self pity)
that I’d googled
“what’s the difference between grieving and self pity”
The article I read was written by Georgina Shaffer but there are others.
Informative and interesting.

So my thinking is - this is saying the same??
I’ve reluctantly accepted that hubby isn’t coming back – so is this when the self pity creeps in?

G. X

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