I’ve just been listening to an interview on Radio 4’s Womans Hour with Dr Kathryn Mannix a leading palliative care consultant. In the interview she explained the process of dying both mentally and physically. It has really helped reassure me about my wife’s last moments and I thought it may be of use to people on here.
I’d expect that the interview will be available on Iplayer, but this short video covers a lot of what she talked about
Dying for beginners
There’s more information about the work of Dr Mannix here
Hope it helps
Thank you for posting that. It has certainly explained/reassured me about my husband’s last few days as he lay in hospital unable to communicate. I did spend most of the time talking to him, even when I didn’t get a response, and holding his hand. xx
@Walan thx for posting that. I’ve heard that hearing is the last sense to go so having that confirmed is a comfort. I hope my Dad knew I was there. Having the processes explained is also helpful. I think I could accept it more if it had been in his own environment & not surrounded by the most clueless medical staff, lacking in compassion. The processes maybe normal but the circumstances weren’t
I know what you mean. My husband was in a really dreadful hospital and getting no help at all, it was almost as if they gave up on him. We had hoped to transfer him to the hospice where he could see trees but when I came into the hospital on the Saturday, the day he died, they had disconnected all of the monitors, pain relief and fluids! Apparently this was procedure if someone is being moved from the hospital to the hospice next door, but I believe it’s what pushed his end nearer.
@Guineapig65 Sounds like we share a truly awful experience. Sorry you went thru that, arriving & all the equipment was disconnected, on the pretence of a move. Things like that stay with you as you try to unravel what went on months into this journey…I note on that video, it didn’t mention the fear on someone’s face. Blind terror, I’d describe it as. Even after Dad died, he looked terrified.
The terrified face, I quite agree. It stayed with me for ages and I have made a real effort to try and remember how he looked before he got ill. I was so very angry with the hospital and still refuse to go near it even to the extent of changing my GP surgery as they didn’t do a thing. xx
@Guineapig65 You’re right, I’m trying to do the same, remembering him as a ‘person not a patient’. Maybe they should have that as a poster in hospitals. I can’t go near the hospital either. Too many horrible memories. Sorry also to @Walan for going off topic but I just wanted to illustrate the other deathlike phenomena that was omitted.
No worries @Cee, the circumstances I encountered were not the best either. Take care