I am really struggling to cope through the day and cannot sleep at night. When I do, I have nightmares. I feel utterly exhausted and cannot cope emotionally. I didn’t want medication but I have three kids relying on me and wondered if anybody has been prescribed medication? Does it help?

Hi zahn im on medication and ive had sleeping tablets and yes it works for me big hug Colin (57)

Thanks Colin, I am thinking of asking the GP for some as well.

after a visit to my GP , recommebded by my counsellor; he was more than happy to prescribe me Citalopram. it has really made a difference and lifted a huge cloud that was covering the world for me, a heavy load that i seemed to be carrying

it gave me a that little extra help to get out of bed and get on with the days.

I’ve been on Myrtazapine 15MG more or less since day one and it’s helped me sleep like a log.

Hi johnboy4
After my wife sadly passed nearly 4 months ago was ok in the beginning then would wake up at 3am with anxiety attacks and sleep problems .I am on the same as yourself and it does help but hoped it’s just a temporary measure Steve

Hi Zahn,
this is a difficult one. Would recommend you go and have a talk wit your quack about this. I am on 30 mg of mirtazapine, recently upped from 15 mg. so far it has not done much but I this has been a relatively recent change in my medication. It has to be taken at night and at first it worked, but now the potency has worn off quite a bit, back to restless an interrupted sleep. Metabolism also plays a part of it as well. I have also been on citaloprame but I found it ineffective.
the antidepressants are going to be a long term fix I am afraid. As for sleeping tablets, they have been short term only. I have taken Zopiclone, side affects, dry mouth nausea and a thumping head ache in the morning. The GP and nursing support have warned that sleeping pills should only be taken for a short period only, the potency wears off quickly, so you need a larger dose to get back into a sleep pattern, and it can be psychologically addictive. so have a word with your GP about this or call 111 and ask for such advice.
Grief is an horrendous thing to go through…I seem to have been coming down with insomnia…spending myself trying to sleep…I have used every relaxation skills available from counting sheep, listening to relaxation tapes, except for the one with waves crashing on the shore or water flowing…I get an urge to run back and fore to the lavvy. I don’t really know what to suggest. Medication may be needed at first, but talk to your GP about this. I will be contacting the quack in the morning about the sleeplessness and anxiety issues.
Take care

sorry for the poor quality of typing the sleeplessness is hitting me a bit now.

I’m the same as you Steve and don’t want to be on them too long. I was my wife’s carer so when she passed away I was in effect jobless. I’m claiming Bereavement allowance for 12 months. Got 3 months left to run then comes the fun and games in job hunting which I want to do. Too young (56) to be out to pasture. Hopefully find a steady job and in time start to wean off the Mirtazapine.

Hello all in the end I needed medication Diazepam and a sleeping tablet . It’s seven weeks now since my loss, some days I cope then others I just fall apart , still can’t believe he has gone for good, at least now I’m sleeping, hugs to all )))

Hi guys
Don’t know if it helps but I’ve seen my GP and I’m taking 40mg Paroxetine and 120mg Propananol daily. My unbearable anxiety and endless crying have reduced but mornings are so dreadful. I am sleeping, but wake drenched in sweat. Not in a good place at all.

Hi. I lost my dad 25 Oct last year and then my mum 10 weeks after. I have history of post natal depression so as soon as my dad was diagnosed after 3 weeks of anxiety and low mood I went to gp and went back on citalopram. I started on 10mg I’m now on 40mg plus because I then lost my mum I’m now struggling really bad. Gp gave me some Lorazepam to help me settle at night as I can’t sleep. I have 2 jobs 4 kids and I work in mental health so a stressful job too and I needEd to go back to work to pay the mortgage. I only had a week off as couldn’t afford any longer. Without the medication I would not function. Everyone is different and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m going to slowly cut down and hopefully by the summer I would be feeling better. I hope this helps. X

Hi all - I take zopiclone I’ve been on them for 2 weeks ( it’s 10 weeks since my loss) they help me to sleep but I’ve noticed the past couple of days I’m waking a few times, but managing to get back off again. I’ve heard they can be addictive & withdrawl can be traumatic. I don’t want to stay on them long but it is nice to get some sleep. I’m not having nightmares though.

Lambie I understand not being able to believe your dear husband has gone for good I’m the same it is unbelievable isn’t it. God help us all ( if there is one which I feel is very unlikely)

I hope you all find some peace & get some sleep.

Big hugs to all xx

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Hi Sued,
hope you don’t mind me butting in here. I noticed that the zopiclone stopped working fully after a few days. I was told to cut back on them. take one every few days. So I take one a week, or when I desperately need them…since I am often awake every night after an hours sleep it would be every night, but I don’t want addiction to them. I would suggest you contact either your GP or 111 about your medication for a bit of advice about your zopiclones longevity and length of time you should be taking them. My GP warned me about this problem and that they ware off after a while.

I have diagnosed depression/anxiety/anorexia on top of grief, so I’m on a fair bit but here goes:

Mirtazapine 45mg (anti-depressent), personally I don’t find it helpful, but I’ve been on a lot of anti-ds and they don’t really work for me. I know others who it’s really helped.

Pregabalin 450mg (anti-anxiety), this has been super helpful, especially with anxiety around grief. With the anxiety thing I’ve also found self soothing ot be really helpful (blankets, teddies, music, textures, heat packs etc.)

Quetiapine 100mg (anti-psychotic), I’ve only just gone on this and it’s an anti-psychotic but in my case it’s for depression. Can’t comment on whether it’s been helpful or not yet.

Promethazine 25mg/50mg (sleep), this has been an absolute lifesaver! I really struggled with sleep all my life, but particularly following Mum’s illness/death. Unlike zopiclone, you can take promethazine every night and it’s genuinely one of my favourite things, lol. I find sleep affects my mental health more than almost anything else, so it’s been fab.

Zopiclone 7.5mg (sleep), I only take this occasionally. In the past it’s been helpful butb not so much now. It has less of a hangover effect than promethazine, though.

Other things…
My ashtma got worse during Mum’s illness/after her death which isn’t uncommon, so on top of my inhalers I’m also on montelukast for that.

I’ve recently discovered I have a vitamin d deficiency which has loads of the same symptoms as depression so I’ve been given tablets for that.

I’m also supposed to be on other supplements but rarely take them. And recently I’ve started having allergic reactions which is either stress or medication related so I’m on stuff for that too…

With all medication, it can definitely help and can lift things enough to begin to work through things, but it’s not a lighthearted decision because there are lots of side effects and they’re not necessarily easy to come off once you’re on them. I recommend finding a good GP and having a really honest discussion with them (maybe book a double appointment). I have a brilliant GP who I see weekly…

Hope this helps, sorry it’s so long!

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Thanks Dave yes I will have a word with my GP. So do you not sleep very much without them ?

Hello there,I went to the Dr after repeatedly waking up at night crying and bursting into tears randomly throughout the day after losing my Dad last September. He put me on Myrtazopine a week before Xmas (an anti depressant with a mild sedative), and I’m pleased to say that it is working. There is no shame admitting you’re struggling and some tablets will support you til the pain has eased. The first morning after the night I had taken them I woke up feeling really spaced out, but it was only for a couple of days and it’s fine now. They have definitely helped me cope with life after losing Dad xx

Hi Sued,
thanks for getting back to me. I try not to take the zopiclone nightly since I have been warned about their potential for addiction… so I only take them after a difficult day. Took one last night and started to get drowsy by 1 PM and slept throughout. Without them, I do find I am restless and awake until the early hours.
I am on Mertazapine, take them nightly before bed time, but I still find myself sleeping in bursts…and tired throughout the day…I find it odd that I end up dropping off to sleep usually around 4 or 5AM then I can oversleep in the morning waking around 10 Am and feeling really tired, anxious and headachy throughout the day.
if I can surface before 8 AM I will phone the GP and ask for advice.

I meant 11 PM…sorry my laptop is palying up (over tired…a bit like me)

Hi everyone,I have been given zoplicone which if I’m honest don’t take them often enough so I can’t really say if they work, I hardly sleep at all its usually 3 or 4 in the morning then I’m in bed till 3 the next dayv sometimes 1 I just don’t know how to sort this out and starting to feel poorly now.I have an appointment with GP tomorrow I am also on citalopram which I’m sure keeps me awake as had sleep problems before my husband passed and didn’t have this before I went on them I dI’d mention it ti GP before but she didn’t do anything,because they did the job I put up with the sleeplessness but now my husband has passed it’s has become worse so will bring it up tomorrow.sorry this isn’t very useful to you all .I think hobbies help but I’m in no fit state to do anything yet as I’m sure a lot of you arn’t either.

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