After 6 years of losing my lovely wife of 40 wonderful years together who I think of every day and the loneliness that goes with it I found myself joining a dating site for widows and widowers.this has taken a long time for me to pluck up the courage to do this.
I’ve only contacting the person by text.
I have that feeling of guilt coming over me they have also lost their love one so we both understand one another we have not spoken to each other yet,I have not told my daughter hopefully she understands ,I’ll be 75 years old soon I just want try and have some happiness back it may not work out but am I wrong I will never forget my late wife it has been difficult for me over this
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I think you are brave and rather wonderful for doing this. I lost my amazing husband of 33 years in March and I cry 20 times every day, but at the right time I think I’ll be following you on this path. When you’re together as long as we were we discussed death and mortality and we both wanted the other person to build a new life if one of us died early.
It feels impossible now and I can never replace him, but I won’t try to. Although I have a load of amazing friends they can’t fill the type of loneliness that his death created. At the right time I’m sure I’ll try to find a new companion.
Take care.
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Thank you for your kind reply it’s hard even now but I I’ll see how it goes and even texting someone who understands because they have lost their love one.
I’ll just take each step at a time I am nervous and at the same time and feel guilt but I’m just trying for some happiness it may work it may not loneliness is so cruel at times
Best wishes to you I hope you find happiness
take care
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Hi, I am Bee23,
I am a year on in my grief. I had 50 years with my man. I too long for a companion to go about with and, with luck, find more. My husband wished me to try and I find myself thinking about it. I would be worried about a dating site as a female. Is it safe? Go for it people we only have one life. We will never forget our old lives and special loves but…lonely is so bad I cannot think about living alone for too long.
Good luck.
Bee23 x
Thank you for your kind reply it’s taken me a long time to pluck up the courage to join this dating site but loneliness is so cruel.
I only joined for a month I’ve not met the lady yet we have just been texting one another but to go through another year is daunting I do keep busy I also feel guilty I think of my late wife each and every day it’ll be 6 years this July since I lost her after 40 wonderful years together.
I’ll be 75 years old this June I hope I’m making sense it may not work out.
take care and thank you for thinking of me X
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@M50
I lost my long term partner of 25 years, 3 years ago but in truth it was more like 5 as he was in a home for 3 years and really made no effort to try n get back. He seemed to enjoy being the centre of attention there even in just four walls. I visited him nigh on every day for those 3 years but I was completely fed up to be honest n felt unloved even though Pete did love me and was a good man.
I joined a dating site at the age of 68 for texting and chat more than anything as Pete was still alive then…
I met a chap called John, an absolute gentleman who understood n was patience personified. We fell completely for each other and I realised he was what I had been missing for many years. We had so many good times and even contemplated marriage.
We only had two n a half years together as he passed this March and it hurts like hell…I think we all understand on here what it’s like.
I’ve never known pain like it after such a short time, we didn’t even live together but spent 75% of our time with each other.
I say you should go for it. Enjoy what you can whilst you can.
Only thing I think of is when you get so close to someone and you love them and then they pass away could I go through all this again……Maybe a friendship would be enough for me if n when the time ever comes…
Good luck.
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I have friends older than myself. 81 year olds married now four months. 79 and 83 newly dating. and others, so it does happen. it does take courage. but it is possible.
Thank you so much for your kind reply,so sorry for your loss.
It’s early days for me to start chatting after 6 years since I lost my wonderful wife,
But I agree we have to try and move on,but it’s sits daunting
Please take cake M50
@M50
The old saying…’you never know until you try’.
If it’s not for you when n if you meet this lady you will instinctively know straight away and as long as you are both totally honest with each other then nothing lost.
It could be the start of a lovely friendship though…x
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this is a fine attitude to have. it takes courage to be hopeful about things. I wish more people were as positive.
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@berit
It’s simply because my darling Johns go to saying was Carpe Diem…seize the day…
We have to, there’s nothing else but it’s only when the person feels as though they want to move on and keep that open mind…
Some might never and others might. No right or wrong way.x
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You know in your heart yourlovely wife would say well done!I finding the courage to reach out to others who are in a similar situation .I’m 4years plus into this lonely place,some times I think it would be good to meet someone for companionship.But I have yet to find the courage.My confidence is so low,then I tell myself I would be making unfair comparisons between my beloved Paul and any one else.M y reality is I am afraid of rejection.I admire your courage !hopefully your contact works out well.
Thank you so much for your kind support,My confidence went the day I lost my wife,of 40 wonderful years together in 2019.
I still feel that guilt at meeting someone else even though it’s 6 years since I lost her after such a long brave battle.
It’ll be the first time in some 6 years I’ve even thought of plucking up the courage too try and move on and I like you fear rejection I’ve only been in contact by text and only spoken twice with the lady.
We have arranged to meet for the first time this week I’ll be honest I’m nervous it will be the first time in some 48 years since I met my late wife I will have met another lady I’m coming up to my 75 birthday soon.but if nothing else I will have made a friend loneliness can be so cruel.
I want to wish you all the happiness M
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@M50
Good luck to you.
You might just be meeting a like minded woman and it could just be a good friendship that you both want. That will be brilliant.
I think in time I will want a male friend but I’ve had my soulmate and could never get involved again and maybe go through this hurt and despair ever.
Enjoy your ‘date’ and remember she will be nervous as well…
if someone can find the right companion, life will improve. it takes courage but people do it everyday. a counselor I had compared finding love to being in a rose garden with all of the thorns. but get past that, and having someone is a joy. and we are physical beings that need others and we live day to day. just meeting someone you like and they call and you talk is a joy. I have wallowed in misery too many years when it was not necessary. life is fleeting. others pull themselves out of it and go do. I think of the courage it took for my friend’s new girlfriend, 83, to go online and look for a man.
@berit
That’s amazing and just goes to show that never mind the age we all need other people to either love or just be friends with…x
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Hello M50,
Not seen you around for a while. Hope you are doing okay and finding a way to keep moving forwards. Thinking of you…
Kind regards,
Bee23
Hi bee23
Thank you so much of think about me it’s lovely to hear from you I hope you are also doing well life can be tough it’ll be 6 years this coming July since I lost my lovely wife of 40 years take care and thank you once again M50
You are more than welcome M20. We had 50 years together and Phil passed 13 months ago. I so miss his presence and his voice. On saying that by the end he didn’t look or talk like he did. Life is hard but, maybe in time, we can move on and find something work living for. Take care, I am here if you want to talk. In private if you would rather though I don’t know how to do that yet.
My thoughts are with you M50.
kind regards.
Bee23
Hi Bee 23
Thank you so much for your kind reply I’m so sorry for your loss I understand what you are going through .
It’s coming up to my 6 year in July since I lost her and it doesn’t get any easier especially when you have had 40 wonderful years together we were over joyed with the birth of our daughter who is happily married now she is such support
Look after yourself and take each day as it comes that’s the way I try to deal with my loss best wishes M50
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