Hello everyone……it’s 4 weeks tomorrow I lost my beautiful wife at the age of 57……will I ever get over it?...NO………will life ever be the same?..…No………is there any point going on?..… There’s got to be……Our loved ones would want us to grieve,but not to be so unhappy,so lost,so lonely,so incomplete ,so empty until we pass away.
Maybe I’m writing this for the younger bereaved,I don’t know,I’m 52 I’m so unhappy,so lonely,all of the above and more……BUT surely I know my wife would want me to be happy again sometime in the distant future,well I know because she said Ito me” in time I want you to meet someone as nice as me’…that’s what she said………it’s little things like that and more that she said to me that keeps me going…….In times like this,when we’re al having a meltdown,Jew got to remember our loved ones wouldn’t want us hurting constantly,I mean for the young bereaved…
I think I’m writing this trying to convince myself there is a future,52 ……freaking 52…. I don’t want my life to be over……I feel like it is but I don’t want it to be over
I’m so sorry Donant.
It’s still early days. If someone had just broken their leg, we wouldn’t expect them to be better straight away or planning a marathon. We’d want them to take small steps, rest, to ask for help etc. Well rather than a leg, you’ve just had your heart and soul broken, and that’s a lot bigger.
It’s scary, its lonely with no short cuts. But we’ll do it.
Beki x
Hi I know exactly how you feel .I feel like my life is over but I may have a long time till I actually die. I think I am realising it is up to me to try and live the rest of my life without my hubby. The last nine months I have just been hoping each day I wouldn’t wake up . I know that is not what my hubby would want for me. And I know if it had been me who had died my hubby would of wanted to live . And try and have a good life in my memory. I am not at that stage yet .but at least I am thinking a little more positive. And reading posts that are a little positive may help me .I know I have a long way to go before I might feel happy again . Hope you as well as you can be .thinking of you xtake carex
Hi Broken2222
What a positive post. I’m the same as you 9 months and I am starting to feel exactly as you describe. I’ve been on medication for 3 months for my anxiety and low mood and they are helping a lot but I feel like I am actually living a little instead of existing. I know it’s what mark wanted me to do and when I am in danger of having a wobble I think of that.
Keep the positivity going xx
Hi Donant
So sorry for your loss. It is so very young to lose your wife and it’s so difficult when you have all your plans ahead of you ripped away. My husband died 9 months ago he was 70 I am 61 and we were looking forward to our retirement. But I know he wanted me to get on with life and I am trying my best although it is hard at times still. He told me to meet someone else but I told him I wouldn’t as I can’t imagine being with anyone else. Everyone has to do what is right for them.
It’s very early days for you look after yourself and take each as it comes.xx
Hi thank you for your reply . We never spoke about what if one of us died . Even when Chris was diagnosed with cancer . I never thought he would die and leave me . I also think that’s what he thought as well . So I didn’t have a clue for his funeral or how I was suppose to go on without him . So the past nine months I have just muddled through . Some days it has been very messy . I once said to someone . I’m on a treadmill of life . But I think I had the setting to high so I kept falling off . Now I have it set on very very low . And I’m managing just to keep on . I know this is and will be the hardest thing I have ever had to do . But I must at least try . We had been together from us being 16 . And he died when we were both 59 . So a lot of years . But I must find the strength he gave me with all his love . And still is to find away to live out my days for however long .hope we all find some strength to keep on . Xtake carex
Hi
Mark was the opposite. He was such an organised person and we used to laugh at him making lists for everything. But he surpassed himself when he knew his cancer was terminal. He made a list of what he wanted for his funeral, a list of highlights of his life which the celebrant used in the service and he left a letter for me and our daughter telling us how much he loved us and that he wanted us to get on with our lives. I’ve only read my letter twice as it’s upsetting but it is like he’s talking to me so that helps me to keep going. We were together 33 years married for 30.
Take care xx