Hello everyone, I hope you are all getting through these days. I was doing not to badly, filling the days etc. But yesterday morning a friend of my son’s sent me 2 photos of him that I hadn’t seen before and it’s just floored me. I’ve done nothing but cry since. They are beautiful photos, he’s happy and smiling, so handsome and my heart aches. I want him back. I want to hug him, talk with him. I’m not sure why two photos have had such an impact.
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Hi. Orchard. It’s not just photos that can cause heart breaking emotions. The other day I put the washing machine on and sat down to watch TV. The whirring of the machine suddenly triggered off some emotion on how we used to sit like that in the evenings. Memories die hard. I was in tears for a bit. This is to be expected. It’s all part of the process of grief.
Almost everything at first reminded me of my wife, but as times passes that does lessen, but it’s still hard going. Take heart in the fact that your love must have been deep, and that such a trauma as losing someone so close is bound to have a very emotional response.
Look after yourself as your partner would have wanted. Blessings.
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Hi Jonathan, thank you for responding to my message. However it’s not a partner I’ve lost but my beautiful son. But I did love him deeply, we were very close. I’m sorry you have lost your wife. Grief is grief isn’t it. The result is the same, a broken heart and a lot of pain. I just never ever thought my child would die before me. He loved life so much and packed so much into 27 years. My memories are precious. Take care and stay well.
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I’m so sorry. I mistook your post. I thought it was a partner. but as you say it makes very little difference. Grief is grief wherever and to whom it happens.
Also love is love and the depth of that love has nothing to do with who we bestow it on. I have said this before and may have got into trouble over it, but losing a pet friend can often cause as much grief.
If we love we love and there is no depth or space or any dimension to unconditional love. It’s untouchable.
Take care. John.
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Hi Jay, Just happened to be passing thru and came accross your post. You are so right - I hate to say it but even friends and family don’t understand the loss we are going thru - like it’s a passing phase, but for us it doesn’t end. We can put it out of mind for a brief period, but something always brings it up again, I guess it’s mostly memories, experiences and very likely LOVE. When I first met my wife I never thought I would be in love with her that she became part of me (my life). I went to the store for groceries yesterday, made a list like she did - in fact she always kept a note pad for everything! When the shopping was done, I went out to my Jeep. I remember we would always go to the store or stores together. She would be right there helping (or me helping her). We did almost everything together When I got homme I put all the items away, remembering how she would put things in their place. I always pushed the cart. You see it’s little things like this that I’m fondest of - I was married to her 8 years dating her off and on for 5 years. I remember our first date, I drove up by an apartment building and she was nicely dressed and gave me a wave and a big smile. We could have hit it off right there and we did. Her mother was in her 90’s and owned the building
Marriage was always something we planned on doing, just that it always had be placed on hold. Anyway, I treasure these memories, and even though I try to share these experiences with others, I can see their eyes or minds drifting and then change the subject. I remember a lot about her and I like to talk about her - just can’t stay on it too long without breaking down - so I manage to keep these memories mostly to myself.
We always talked about everything! Well, it seems I got off the subject - but as I said you are right. It was a beautiful time together! Just wanted to share that all of you. Thank you for your post Jay.
Herb (Greencat)
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Dear Orchard
I am so sorry for your loss, I too have lost my beautiful son aged 22, 9 weeks ago. I desperately miss him & like you photos & other triggers floor me & I feel so desperate. I yearn constantly to hold him & cry so much 
Sending love & strength to you. Rach x
Rach I am so sorry you’ve started on this awful journey to. My heart goes out to you. I remember those awful early days. I felt so scared of everything. My life had gone. I didn’t know who I was, I couldn’t remember anything from before my son died. I now know I was in total shock and my mind had shut down. I found it helped me to get books on grief, I needed to make some sense of what I was feeling. And then I started going to a local support group for bereaved parents. Sometimes you just want to talk about everything and anything and know that the person listening understands you. Message me anytime you want to Rach. There’s no answer to this but there’s understanding 
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Thank you so very much xxx
I just wanted to message you Rach to say I’m thinking of you this evening. You’ve got through another day…
Thank you so very much, your thoughtfulness is so very much appreciated.
Thinking of you & sending hugs & strength to you & everyone suffering 