Hi, I wonder if you could give me your opinions please. I lost my everything man to cancer in early February and like all of us who post on this site, at times it feels like I’m in hell. I intend to start a memory book for Guy recalling all the wonderful times we had together. Memories as you know can be bitter sweet particularly in these early days. One of the most painful things that happens to me on a daily basis is the realisation of the things I am never going to do with him ever again and it makes me cry to even write that sentence. I wondered, and here is what I’d like help with, do you think it would be a good idea to consciously think about and write down as many of these "I’ll never/ we’ll never things as I can in the hope that as I try to cope with missing his presence, these realisations don’t hit me in the face like a wrecking ball when I least expect it? I know that they’ll always be such thoughts that I’ve missed that catch me unawares and floor me but wonder if prempting some might make it a little easier. I anticipate that I will have one hell of a meltdown in the process of writing it but each thought , I’ll never/we’ll never many, many times a day as I try to survive this nightmare Is taking it’s toll. My love and thanks to all my fellow lost souls on this site, I pray we all find some peace. Elfy xx

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Hello @Elfy. I feel so sorry for your loss.Your question is a good one about things we will never do again. It is their physical presence we miss but their spirit will be with us forever. Nothing in life is permanent and time would have changed things as we age but it is the sudden shock right now that causes these feelings.
My own feeling is that writing down all the lovely things you did in the past with a feeling of gratitude is more positive than looking at what you can’t have in the future and you can never erase all those lovely memories. Those are yours to keep forever and no one can ever steal them from you.
Life will be painful, but gratitude and talking to your loved one may help. Death may steal the body but you are the owner of his heart.
Love and light.x


Hello Elfy
So sorry for your loss
I lost my husband December the 5th
I write everything down about my day
My grandsons have a memory box
We put all pictures from school in there
Please take care xx