On Sunday my wife will be gone 6 months.and it’s seems like she was just here last week.
But I have realized that not only have I lost her I have lost all that she remembered.
I never had a great memory but she could remember everything .the day date and time of or children s berth .or first holiday s our night out weden annaversies she could remember we’re we went and we’re we had eaten out . family’s birthdays and date of the passing of ones gone .she had such a memory it was unreal.and now I realize that most of that is gone .I will never remember it I’ll try my best to write as much as I can down .but I know I will not get it all .I will never get them back and I’ll never get her back .only thing there is is pain . Has any one else lost memories…I have trouble remembering what I done yesterday…


I am so sad to hear this but i think if my husband was here not me he would be the same .it is awful when you tey to remember thing snd there not there to jog that memory and remind you of things do you have photos you can look at to jog those memory did she keep a memory box some people do .my heart goes out to you

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Hi Fred, wow 40 years married is a hell of achievement and yes that sure is alot of memories to try and keep, it is so sad how our minds work… They always seem to lock onto bad stuff instead of the great memories… I thank heavens for technology the fact you now have videos, voice messages plenty of great memories stored digitally.
It saddens me you have forgotten some of your best and important moments I can’t imagine how sad that must make you feel, just remember though you’re at a dark stage of your life you’ve lost the one person who was suppose to be with you until the end… But your mind is all over the places and you’re desperate to remember stuff it could simply be your trying to hard at a time you should be taking things slowly.

How many times have we all been stressed over something and running late but at the last moment you can’t find something you need, you rack your brain in a frenzy and still nothing… Then normally your other half tells you to calm and relax and you do find that missing item.
I hope this is something like that and in time you will remember.
If not that again I really am sorry for you losing your wife is devastating as it is but to lose your memories of her aswell… I can’t even comprehend.
You stay strong my friend and you gave my deepest sympathy for your loss.

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Dear Fred

My husband passed in September and our 39th wedding anniversary was March of this year. So I do understand the immense amount of memories that are made over this period of time. Like you in the beginning, following my husband’s death, I could not even remember my own name on some days to the point that I eventually decided to give up work. I was due to retire, we had planned this in the first lockdown only for all our plans to be snatched away as a result of a motorbike crash.

More recently I have found that I am beginning to remember things going back to when we met, people we knew in the early days and lots of other events that took place years ago. As Lostinlimbo has said our brains are all over the place but eventually I think the brain starts to allow us to look back (as that is all we really have that is important to us now) and to start to remember things.

I am so sorry that you find yourself on this difficult journey. We spent a lifetime with our loved ones and certainly for me it will take me a life-time to get over his death. You will never forget your wife of that I am sure.

Take care.


Hi Fred I lost my husband 8 weeks ago and like you have an awful memory and worry that I cannot remember events.

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My husband was gifted as well with total recall, so I know how you feel. I’m sorry for your loss and I know your pain. I’m 10 months in and it still hurts so much. The only relief I get is being in the company of other people. I also recommend Grief Share weekly meetings. Every neighborhood has them and they are very comforting.

Thankyou, I think the pain of it all has locked out so many memories, but I did remember something the other day. Not sure it’s a help though. Take care