Memories

Losing a partner
1

Why are my happy memories all so very sad? :disappointed:

5 Likes
2

Because you’re missing the love of your life. I’ve only just started to remember things and can occasionally smile at the memory but it’s taken time.

5 Likes
3

Hi , i totally understand how happy memories are so sad. I want to remember and talk to my husband about the memories we made together.they are OUR memories not just mine. And they only bring sadness because I can’t share them and enjoy them without my husband here with me. Just my thoughts. xtake carex

8 Likes
4

@UnityMan I have asked the same question and for me I think it’s because the person I made them with is no longer here to share them.
Now those memories are a one dimensional thing, rather like the outline of a scene one would expect to find on the pages of a child’s colouring book.
I also find that I’m remorseful over the memories we could have made but didn’t.
Grief is a truly complex emotion.

6 Likes
5

Im the same all the happy times make me sad and make me cry its hard to believe only 9 weeks ago we were in ibiza loving life its all so hard :broken_heart:

5 Likes
6

@unityman Very true. This is what makes it so difficult to go back to places where the memories were made. I had no idea that grief would be so complicated.

2 Likes
7

Yeh its strange how your memory plays tricks on you ? Theres loads of things i have forgotten and then suddenly remember. Maybe its a way of our brain protecting us do we are not too sad ? Xx

1 Like
8

@UnityMan I am struggling to remember the happy times, even though 95% are happy memories. I keep remembering all the suffering he endured. Maybe like @Deb5 it’s the brains way of protecting us.

2 Likes
9

Yeh i was reading that in my book "a grief companion " that our brains filter grief so that we are not too overwhelmed by it :frowning: xx

2 Likes
11

I know its just crazy how your life can change so fast ? How ? Why ? Its just awful :frowning: and so not fair ! Xxx

2 Likes
12

Its a very cruel world xx

1 Like
13

Yep thats veey true … :frowning: xx

14

I find them sad because they remind me of what I had and what I’ve lost, but people say in time they’ll make me smile

2 Likes
15

Hi, sorry to say but it’s almost two years since my husband died and I still can’t smile at happy memories. In fact it seems to be getting worse. When I can’t exactly remember all the details of a happy memory ,and need so much to ask my husband, he’s the only one who would know. It’s the same when people say it gets easier in time , you have to get through the grief. I believe there’s no getting through it .you learn how to carry the grief with you . You will always feel pain as it’s the love you have for your partner. And your not able to physically give him that love. Sorry for being a downer.but it’s just how I feel. All xtake carex

5 Likes
16

I am going to see my step granddaughter performing in a ballet tomorrow evening. I am really worried about how I will manage. It’s the first time I have been into town and the theatre since I lost my dear husband, We loved going to the theatre and thinking about the memories is making me wish I wasn’t going. He would be so proud of her and him not being there is really upsetting me,

2 Likes
17

Hi, I really do understand how you feel . But I’m sure you will cope , while at the theatre, your there for your granddaughter ,also your husband will be with you giving you the strength , once your back at your house it might be a different matter. Just let the tears flow ,but be proud of yourself for going ,and I’m sure your granddaughter will really appreciate and be happy that you were there. Sending a hug xtake carex

18

@Rome18 my husband and I went to the theatre a lot. The first time I went after he passes I cried a lot but at least it was dark. Hope you enjoy the show without too many tears. Sending hugs.

1 Like
19

My 22 and 19 year old sons smile at the memories but I can’t yet

3 Likes
20

Hi @Sah28 I’m so glad your son’s can smile at the memories of their dad.im sure they are a great comfort to you .hopefully in time you might be able to smile at the memories as well. …Maybe it’s just me , but my memories always bring a sadness to me . Sending a hug xtake carex

1 Like
21

@Broken2222
All of my memories bring me sadness too, which is odd really because they were so special. I suppose it’s the realisation that they are in the past and we cannot make any more with our dear ones. I’m sure in time we will be able to look back and recall our many memories with joy. I do hope so.
Sending hugs x

2 Likes