Memories

Why are my happy memories all so very sad? :disappointed:

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Because you’re missing the love of your life. I’ve only just started to remember things and can occasionally smile at the memory but it’s taken time.

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Hi , i totally understand how happy memories are so sad. I want to remember and talk to my husband about the memories we made together.they are OUR memories not just mine. And they only bring sadness because I can’t share them and enjoy them without my husband here with me. Just my thoughts. xtake carex

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@UnityMan I have asked the same question and for me I think it’s because the person I made them with is no longer here to share them.
Now those memories are a one dimensional thing, rather like the outline of a scene one would expect to find on the pages of a child’s colouring book.
I also find that I’m remorseful over the memories we could have made but didn’t.
Grief is a truly complex emotion.

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Im the same all the happy times make me sad and make me cry its hard to believe only 9 weeks ago we were in ibiza loving life its all so hard :broken_heart:

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@unityman Very true. This is what makes it so difficult to go back to places where the memories were made. I had no idea that grief would be so complicated.

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Yeh its strange how your memory plays tricks on you ? Theres loads of things i have forgotten and then suddenly remember. Maybe its a way of our brain protecting us do we are not too sad ? Xx

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@UnityMan I am struggling to remember the happy times, even though 95% are happy memories. I keep remembering all the suffering he endured. Maybe like @Deb5 it’s the brains way of protecting us.

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Yeh i was reading that in my book "a grief companion " that our brains filter grief so that we are not too overwhelmed by it :frowning: xx

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We were in Zurich 9 .5 weeks ago having a fantastic weekend in the sun. Lots of beers, shopping & just enjoying life.
Now it’s all shattered into a million pieces
My heart is smashed😢

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I know its just crazy how your life can change so fast ? How ? Why ? Its just awful :frowning: and so not fair ! Xxx

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Its a very cruel world xx

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Yep thats veey true … :frowning: xx

I find them sad because they remind me of what I had and what I’ve lost, but people say in time they’ll make me smile

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Hi, sorry to say but it’s almost two years since my husband died and I still can’t smile at happy memories. In fact it seems to be getting worse. When I can’t exactly remember all the details of a happy memory ,and need so much to ask my husband, he’s the only one who would know. It’s the same when people say it gets easier in time , you have to get through the grief. I believe there’s no getting through it .you learn how to carry the grief with you . You will always feel pain as it’s the love you have for your partner. And your not able to physically give him that love. Sorry for being a downer.but it’s just how I feel. All xtake carex

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I am going to see my step granddaughter performing in a ballet tomorrow evening. I am really worried about how I will manage. It’s the first time I have been into town and the theatre since I lost my dear husband, We loved going to the theatre and thinking about the memories is making me wish I wasn’t going. He would be so proud of her and him not being there is really upsetting me,

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Hi, I really do understand how you feel . But I’m sure you will cope , while at the theatre, your there for your granddaughter ,also your husband will be with you giving you the strength , once your back at your house it might be a different matter. Just let the tears flow ,but be proud of yourself for going ,and I’m sure your granddaughter will really appreciate and be happy that you were there. Sending a hug xtake carex

@Rome18 my husband and I went to the theatre a lot. The first time I went after he passes I cried a lot but at least it was dark. Hope you enjoy the show without too many tears. Sending hugs.

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My 22 and 19 year old sons smile at the memories but I can’t yet

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Hi @Sah28 I’m so glad your son’s can smile at the memories of their dad.im sure they are a great comfort to you .hopefully in time you might be able to smile at the memories as well. …Maybe it’s just me , but my memories always bring a sadness to me . Sending a hug xtake carex

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