I wonder how many people who have lost a loved one can think of a memory something you both used to do together and then you just break down and get really upset
Quite a lot of things I used to do with Ann my partner who passed away nearly ten weeks ago and I can’t believe that I don’t have any confidence to do anything we used to do together even watching a TV programme we watched together just upsets me
Something silly tonight was watching a film Ann used to love watching and I started watching it then looked at the sofa where she used to sit and I can’t believe but I’m ashamed to say I started to cry thinking about my partner
I always thought it was just women who got upset about loosing their partner and that’s the way I was brought up it’s just something as a child I was led to believe
I’m not sure if it’s ok to get upset about something so connected to my partner but I’m just wondering if anyone else is having the same thing happening to them
It’s always OK to be upset.
Sorry to be brief - feeling very raw today.
Since my wife passed away just over 7 months ago I have lost count of the number of times that one memory leads to another and then leads to a flood of tears and that pain in your throat and chest from the intense feeling of loss.
There are a few programmes that I avoid and also doing many things that we used to do. When these moments hit me just as they have tonight a feeling of panic sets in that she isn’t here and I then grab my coat and keys and dash out onto the sea front.
From being the most secure and confident person,a strong character and an extrovert who could make my wife laugh even at the toughest of times I now lack that confidence,feel very nervous most of the time and become almost reclusive because I just feel total exhaustion from the pain of loss.
When I do watch something or spend time on my laptop I sometimes look to her favourite spot on the sofa thinking she will be there,in that split millisecond moment I can see that she isn’t and the pain intensifies.
When you lose the love of your life every single thing about your life changes,we are grieving the loss of our soulmate but also the loss of a life that they made complete. Gender isn’t an issue and it definitely is okay to feel the way you do,the way that you feel and the pain you are going through is how the rest of us feel. We may deal with it different but it doesn’t make it right or wrong,what you feel is true to you and no one else so be as strong as you can because it will be with us for as long as it takes to learn to live with it.
@Boo2 absolutely ok and perfectly normal to get upset over memories. It can be the simplest of things that sets us off.
It happens to all of us. It’s difficult to handle but normal and perfectly ok to react that way. It only gets worse, I think, if we hold it in and bottle it up. 
@Boo2 Nearly everyone I have come into contact with in the last year has had the same reaction, over films, photos, favourite box sets, music, the whole lot evokes memories that are hard to deal with. We were waiting for S2 of Clarksons Farm to come out, that was bloody hard to watch without him but when I did I could almost hear him roaring with laughter.
Seriously whoever you are, its perfectly normal to get upset, I’d be more concerned if you didn’t. Holding it in or not dealing with how you feel, will cause you more problems in the end. It’s better out than in. And as someone further along the line, it does get easier. I do find facing things and tackling them head on works for me but we are all different and you must do what’s right for you.
So sorry for your loss. I lost my angel 9 months ago, we used to be inseparable and did everything together. The only time we were apart was when we went to work. We got even closer during the lockdown. Now everything I do I think of how we used to do it together 
. It’s so heartbreaking I still can’t bring myself to enjoy watching TV the way we used to, so just keep it on in the background for company otherwise the quietness would be too much of a torture.
It’s normal to get upset about anything connected to our beloved it’s part of the grieving process, so I believe!
@Ali29 my partner also loved watching Clarkson’s farm - I can’t bring myself to watch it without her
@Boo2 so sorry for your loss
Being broken and grieving after losing a partner isn’t a female thing, it’s a human thing
Yes I’m the same. Lost my husband 12 weeks ago.
Dragonlady
Thanks for your reply and I hope you are feeling better today and hope you are looking after yourself
Thank you, Boo2. It’s really early days for me - still the first week. So I think I’m a bit worse tonight, actually.
The hardest thing is people being kind. Has me in floods every time.
I meant it, though. The love hasn’t gone, and that won’t change. And I’m doing OK on the self-care front, I think. Thanks for asking.
Dragonlady take care of yourshelve
I’m also having one of those raw feeling days…. Been crying on and off all day today, I thought I was starting to cope too…. Miss my man and our lovely life we had 
@Jenny2016 I’m having one too, so I’m sending you a hug.
I wasn’t good then I had a condolence email, people who’d only just discovered that Roger had died. They said they hoped it didn’t make me too sad. But it did and I sobbed and am still so close to tears.
Me too, only the other day crying all the way home from work so suddenly reliving the day he passed 
Sending big hugs x