It was something Esther Rantzen said that struck me as so true and it had not really occurred to me. She said that she did not want people to see her suffering before she died because their first memory of her will be of her suffering and not the earlier good times. I find it hard to get passed thinking of her last 18 months in order to remember the previous 55 years. Do others feel the same as me?
Writing this is very difficult because you can guess of what I am thinking.
Hiya @Hopefully
I’m so sorry for your loss
Unfortunately I’m also fixated on the final 12 months of my mam’s passing, but have been told that in time the happy memories will replace the bad ones. I guess we just have go with it, but its a hard journey
Hope this gives you just a little comfort 
Take care
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I think the memories you have make it worse, and then the last few years as you seem to compare the two. It’s sad to see a pearent deteriate in that way., especially with dementia. Watching the carers taking control of your mum’s life. 5 years before mum passed she used to go to the cinema regularly. In the end she ended up watching or staring at the TV quiz shows. My mum wasn’t into quiz shows and most likely would have changed the channel. Carer says she likes this, really ? what can you do ? mum lived to 95 though!