Hi, it’s just over fifteen months since my lovely husband died and I miss him more as each day passes. I’ve thought about starting a memory box but not sure what to put in it or how big the box should be? Has anyone started one and would like to say what type of items they have put in? I understand if it’s too personal and don’t want to share. Love to everyone.x
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I have one about A4 paper box size, a Harry Potter one. I have in it his wallet, driving licence, PSV licence, his old blue badge, his favourite cap he always wore, all the nic-naks he kept in his bedside draw.
The cards and order of service from his funeral, USB with service recorded on it, and cards sent to each other, I still write those now, birthday, anniversary and Christmas and add them to his memory box.
You can put anything that’s personal to you both in it.
I also write a daily diary and I have a journal where I write love letters, all kept in the box.
When I’m gone I’ve no idea what our children will do with it, I hope they keep it to remember their dad.
Debbie xx
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@Loobyloo2 & @Debbie57 I too intend to make a memory box. I have used a box that had nice gin glasses in previously (slightly bigger than a shoe box). So far I have put the order of service and all the sympathy cards & letters I received in it. I intend to stick some photos to the outside and then just some bits and pieces that had significant emotional attachment to us inside. However, I haven’t done any of these bits as I still find it all too painful still. I struggle to even look at photos as I just cry. It would be nice to know what you plan to put in.
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Hi @Jan17 , I’ve put most things I intend to already, one thing I forgot to add to my above list, his favourite aftershave, the last bottle he was still using. But I also get new bottles of it and spray his pillow and wear it myself I love the smell and reminds of him.
The only photos I have in it were the ones he carried in his wallet. But I do have about fifty photo albums following our lives since we met, our wedding , our children and now their partners and grandchildren. Too many for a memory box. Instead I carry my favourite photos of him on my phone, so I can always see him wherever I am.
For me it’s coming up to 27 months, I can look at photos now with too many tears.
Debbie xx
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The main thing I have put in my husband’s memory box is the love letters we sent to each other from our teens to fairly recently and many of our anniversary cards. I think once you start looking there are so many memories. I ordered mine on line from Etsy and it was very reasonable.
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What a good idea I never thought of it.
Trouble is I haven’t got rid his stuff and don’t intend to do so. I just use it.
I wear his clothes.
He didn’t wear after shave. He wouldn’t.
His stuff is still by our bed a d the note he wrote to himself where he left it last day he was here. I can’t move it.
I got rid of his tablets. Threw out his shoes falling to bits. But only 6 months.
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Enorac
I didn’t start Paul’s memory box until at least a year after he died. Even when it was delivered I couldn’t face it for over a week. After two and half years I can now open it and look through the contents but it is still not easy. I haven’t been able to get rid of any of his clothes yet but my children tell me I don’t have to and they will do it any time I ask them to or to just leave it.
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I,ve sues soapbag and some other items. Theres all of sues silk nighties and dressing gowns plus a bright yellow t-shirt sue loved it
I would have to have a memory trunk.
I washed some of hid stuff i wore today. Hanging on rge washing line now. I always liked wesring his stuff before he died. He didnt get it.
But we were same height. Same size shoes.
I will eventuality get in to his unworn new jeans he had shortened
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Hi all, what lovely things you are all doing, so special and unique.
I don’t really need a memory box as such…as the whole house (little 2 up,2 down) is a memory box in itself.
9 months 3 days on…
Still got everything pretty much where it was, (except all his medical stuff ,and equipment…which was big part of our life’s and what are house looked like but obviously had to be returned to the hospital)
But still all his clothes, which I too wear. I have worn something of his every single day since the day he died.
We have a sideboard in our front room, which is now pretty much his , flowers , photos in frames, boxes with cards in from special occasions to put up, little gifts brought with messages on given to me when he died, and inside the cupboard his ashes in a box, the clothes he was wearing when he died, and a few other things.
Other boxes of his which he kept knick naks in still on tables where he left them…and I’ve covered the walls in the front room with photos of him and me ( I ordered them on Snapfish from photos saved on my laptop from over the years )
I also keep a diary in which I write to him every few days . That’s on his special sideboard.
Love and hugs to you all 
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Good idea about keeping a journal. Think i will start keeping one now
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@Martyn2
I just write things I want to tell him, small and big, some personal and some about the news or sport, that I know he’d be interested in.
A few years ago (2016) he was in an induced coma in ICU for one month.
I wrote to him then, telling him about what was happening each day, and also kept him a scrapbook of the news.
All so he knew what had happened when he was asleep not in the real world.
He recovered from that very scary episode, and we had another 6 and half years of beautiful times together…all be it with lots of illness, and numerous more hospital admissions
To be honest writing to him now just feels like it did then. I used to read to him what I had written in the hope that while in his coma he could hear me (apparently some people do, but he says he didn’t)
He looked at the scrapbook I made but never read the diary I wrote (he said it would be too emotional for him)
9 months 3 days since he ‘feel asleep’ again, I still don’t really believe it.
I like the thought that he is just in a big sleep and one day he will wake up and I can show him what I wrote , and maybe this time he will read it!
Hugs to everyone
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Hugs to you. Thank you its given me an insight into what to put into it
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I too write a journal as if I’m speaking to my husband. Grief is such a lonely place it seems to help writing about my day & my feelings. Although every time I do it I’m in floods of tears but it’s probably better letting it out. Take care.
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Yes what else to do with it all? I pick over some of his things and end up putting them back. His old work clothes he kept in the garage. He seemed to live half his life in them. The patch in his jeans I did for him he had kept and not chucked away. Why did he keep those after he replaced them? Was it special I had done it or what? All reminders of all the things he used to do. Now I haven’t the heart or energy. I start things and don’t see them through. I just cleared a bit of iced up chest freezer.
I can’t face whole job like he used to do.
I spent ages agonising how much oil to put in the car.
Then if water in it was ok. Cooked veg and meat and made it into ready meals.
Big mess to clean up.
I just feel lethargic.
I watered beans.
Started reading in between. On own missing him here.
Sort of flat without him. I got some more bedding plans but no energy to do more after the first tranch.
Cooked a pork joint found in deep freezer and sliced it and gave cat some of it and refroze it cooked and sliced into two portions.
What else can I do only me here? Lot of healthy veg cooked to have on other days.
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@Enorac
Oh enorac. How I remember those early days regarding food in the house that was for my husband.
I’m a vegetarian (not moral) he just liked traditional English food.
I loved cooking for him. Cooking neat and fish didn’t bother me.
I actually gave our neighbours (also friend) a whole gammon joint, otherwise would need to throw away.
9 months on still got a few tins that were just for him…oxtail soup and grapefruit, and tea bags (I don’t like tea)
Going good shopping is still so hard…I hardly do it, as my eating habits changed so much.
Another reason why losing a partner is unlike any other loss.
Take care, love and hugs
's all these t
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Reminds me still that beetroot in jars he spend ages pickling and I can’t eat it. He had a bumper crop.
Well the tins have gone right down. On days couldnt be bothered I ate his rice pudding.
He had stocked up because of food shortagebin pandemic. I eat it so I can spend money would gave spent on bills.
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