My partner and I had 39 happy years together. Today, I was speaking to a stranger about him but for some reason I couldn’t remember the words “my deceased partner”.
Instead I said “ my ex partner” followed by “my former partner”. Only then did my thought clarify and I said “my deceased partner”.
I then had feelings of shame and embarrassment. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? What a nightmare of a journey this is.
Dear Bonnie I’ve come out with all sorts of things, I sometimes wonder if my brain or anything else works anymore. I don’t know whether it is due to stress, lack of sleep, grief or old age but I’m so used to having a stand by speaker. In fact I think we would alternate between the two of us depending were the conversation was going. It is quite incredible how interlinked we were, doing everything together it’s hardly surprising I don’t function anymore.
Thinking of you and sending hugs
Wishing you all the best Tom
Hi Bonnie3 I lost my partner Theresa 6 months ago. . I posted on here that I couldn’t visualize her face when I was in bed at night and had to look at her photos to remember how Theresa looked. This was not long after Theresa passed away, grief can play havoc with your mind, I’m sure many people on here will have had similar experiences. It’s horrible. Take care
The facial memory loss happened to me as well Alex. But now it hurts me too much to see photographs.
Hi Bonnie3.. I was the same at first , I couldn’t look at Theresa photos without crying. I now carry her memorial photo in my wallet and see Theresa,s photo each day. I’m now getting ready to go up to the cemetery, I visit every Sunday. Take care
I think our brains sometimes struggle with information especially related to sadness and loss. It’s easier to think of our loved ones as still being alive although not with us. It’s eleven months now since my partner died but sometimes I like to think “he’s away at a conference” or “visiting family abroad”. People will probably think I’m crazy but if that craziness gives me some respite then it’s my business.
I was a bit more settled a few months back, but it’s his 1st anniversary on the 26th September. I’m now full of anxiety again. It’s probably been triggered by workers I had cleaning the roof and gutters. Some how they’ve jiggered the auto recoil on my garden hose and it won’t roll up. My partner hadn’t long installed it before he died, and it’s upset me greatly. I’ve had such a run of bad luck with trades and Gardner’s since he died. I feel as if I’m jinxed. Take care.
It’s my dear partner’s anniversary on the 28th Norma. I’m in a turmoil. Because he died very late in the evening, I will be indoors at the precise moment. Do I go to bed early and try to sleep through…..do I drink ( I haven’t had alcohol for months because of medication). Thinking of you, you are not alone.
I was in the bank line the first year and forgot my pin. Felt like a fool. Widow’s brain (or Widowers) is a real thing. The first year, I pulled out in front of cars driving (one was a sheriff!) like they didn’t exist. Almost had 3 accidents that year. It calmed down. Stress hormones play havok. I would just calmly assure myself that this will pass, too.
I think you should do what makes you feel comfortable, but I d be careful of alcohol when you’re on medication. My sister and I will just take some flowers to the cemetery and come back home. I will arrange for prayers to be said for him in church. She wanted me to go for lunch but it’s a Saturday so everywhere will be very busy. I don’t think I could face that. Take care.