I lost my darling husband 19 months ago and still miss him terribly. I have always had to write list of things to do etc and we both used to laugh about my doing this. Just lately I find I am forgetting the names of things. I have had a lot of stress just lately as my daughter has split with her husband as he has been mentally abusing her for many years which we knew nothing about. She has been living with me for the last 6 months and is now going through a very messy divorce and is beside herself. She moved in with me for quite a while and was good company but has now moved out so am on my own again.
It is like starting again being alone.
Also one of our twin granddaughters has just been diagnose with Autism and it is a very trying time for all of us.
Has anyone else experienced these memory lapses after such a traumatic time?
Hello @AnnieG1,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
Take good care,
Alex
Thank you Alex.
Hi I’ve just joined the community 17 months after my husband died. In answer briefly yes I find memory loss hits me at times when I’m overwhelmed and exhausted by virtue of that overwhelm. At first I thought it was menopause but stressful times certainly impact. So sorry to hear of the tough time you’re having and you sunshine like you’re taking all your family’s problems on your shoulders - I can relate. Ever since my husband died I’m so fearful and hyper vigilant like I’m waiting for the next bad news … I used to be ultra positive and pragmatic so is this grief ? I know it’s cortisol levels that can do this - I’ve found listening to soundscapes of the sea or train on a track helps regulate my breathing and therefore my cortisol levels if I start feeling like that … hope this helps a bit. Hang in there . Big hugs
IM55 Thank you for your reply and sorry for your loss. It does help to hear that I’m not the only one going through this although I dont wish this on any one. Big hugs back to you too.
Ann
I lost my brother 5 months ago. I did not know that grief can affect the memory. For months my memory has become terrible I am forgetting appointment or turning up on wrong days I am forgetting people’s names and just simple things. I can not trust my own memory at the moment.
Hi Suzanne sorry you lost your brother. With my memory issues probably obvious but I’ve taken to writing things down so much more. Helps me organising all the extra admin; doing the job of 2 people now my husbands gone; and a sort of download of thoughts / emotions crowding my brain as I battle grief and loss. Sometimes I’ve written letters or notes to him so I can express rather than bottle up feelings and make room for cognitive function. It’s taken a while and a lot of 1:1 therapy in the last to start facing the traumas of the loss but writing stuff down really helps. Just my experience. Sending hugs
Thank you for the advice. Still really struggling 5 months on.
Suzanne be kind to yourself. The impact of losing someone and way we grieve is different for everyone and it’s not linear or predictable… just know you’re not alone and there’s many of us out here to talk to. Helps me to think of the grief as another form of loving those we miss 
🫶🏻