2 years ago I joined linedin and had a request from Jayne be a friend on there.id only joined myself for something do,i didn’t use it at all.you couldn’t even message anyone ,which I thought was odd.anyway I noticed when Jayne passed that you could now send messages.well I know Jayne cannot respond to any messages but I found it a comfort that I could send messages and tell Jayne how much I loved and missed her.i told her all the crap id had deal with regarding Jaynes nasty family.it gave me a way of getting things off my chest to the lady I adored more than I thought humanly possible.
ive just sent a message this morning.
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Oh my goodness!! I think many will echo that lovely message to your Jayne. Writing and allowing emotions can help relieve some of the pain. Well, maybe just a bit. Do your best this Christmas. We can only soldier on hoping for better times but with the knowledge we will never forget.
Take care.
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How lovely Ian. Glad it has helped a little. I send my mum text messages. Keep her updated on everything. X
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thank you for your responses.very much appreciated.i will be keeping my head down this Christmas and every Christmas im on this earth.i will send presents to a few friends especially the 4 ladies who worked with Jayne,as they have shown more love towards Jayne than her selfish nasty family.sadly the address had change to which I only found out when the amazon driver sent a text which I could not respond to.so ive had cancel the order and ive got the new address and will be sending their presents in the new year as the company is closed till then sigh.
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Quite lovely Ian. I write to Brian most days similar messages. I feel your pain.
Much love to you
Pat xxx
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thank you very much Pat.
the pain will always be there, maybe all of us can maybe learn to live with it.just been looking through a box which had Christmas cards in,and a few birthday cards,from Jaynes mum and dad,from reading these I could not of thought id of been treated so badly when Jayne passed.seems the Christmas spirit is just that to some people,and money is the root of all evil.just clearing my head a little .
warm regards
ian xx
Hello again, Ian,
I have only just come across this beautiful tribute to your Jayne.
Your words are heartrending,
Thank you for sharing,
Love,
Mary x
Hi. Ian.
Actually it’s the love of money that’s the root of all evil. Money is just pieces of paper or metal coins. And aren’t some people deeply in love with it!! I remember when I was a kid and I was taken to my maternal grandfathers’ funeral. There were six daughters and sons. As soon as the funeral was over they read the will as was the custom then. We all went back to my aunts where my grandfather had lived. There was a right bust up as he had not left enough to each of them, and most to his younger son They never spoke to each other for years after. honest!! I was dragged back home at 11pm through London with my mother fuming.
Now that did teach me a lesson. There’s no love whatsoever in that kind of situation. There was little in the family anyway! And there was very little money involved but their pride was hurt. To think he thought more of one than the other.
It doesn’t seem much better today by some of the posts I have read. So sad!!! Love to all.
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hi Jonathan
thank you for your words and the story of your family.
so true so many families put the love and want for money about all else.
id give my last penny to have Jayne with me.and it is sad when a father or mother a fav son or daughter they put before the others.
and its sad that it can then cause conflict between the family left behind.
money cannot guarantee health or happiness.but some people will do what ever it takes to get their share or everyone elses.some are that selfish.
warm regards ian
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Jonathan - All…
…so true about money…as i have posted on our forum before, Richard and i had drawn up our will soon after we got engaged and had just moved into our forever home together, we were both in our right minds, both fit and able, and he had stated to leave everything to me provided of course that we stayed together, it was only stipulated that if i was to die before him, only then it would get divided between his sister, nine years older than Richard, her grand daughter in New Zealand, his two - three nieces and nephews, my daughter and my grandson…my Richard had never married before meeting me nor had any children…Of course his sister and family are not aware of this, i believe they believe something is soon coming to them and i am not even included in the family, so I can just imagine how they are going to feel about me now, when it dawns on them that i have got everything and nothing has gone to any of them, i am already an outsider now…anyway this was Richards will and what he wanted was to provide for me, look after me, make sure i will be provided for, of course this was 18 or so years ago, when not one of us ever saw this day coming, why would we have worried, we were young, ok late and early 50’s but a young couple setting up a home together, a life for ourselves as a couple…All i know is that his family will not be to pleased to know all was left to me, i am already in the families bad books as it is…an outsider that they dont want to include in their family…They now have to wait for me to die, only then ( what money is left as i have to live on it, move home on it, ) will they get a share…I shall honour Richards will even if my circumstances change, ie: if i was to marry, which of course he too will already have his will drawn up which if he has grown children, grands, they would be included so to now change a will to add a hubby and a wife would of course cause family friction so best the wills stay as they were drawn up, i will honour my Richards wishes, after all he put me first and made sure i will be looked after he if was to go before me…as i said, Richard from day one was a provider, and he was one of the best, a special man indeed, and to Richard i shall always be grateful of the day we first met, and the 20 years God paired us up in the first place…
Jackie…
Hi Jackie, thankyou for your wise words. I think now that I am having a similar problem to you with Brian’s family. We made our wills and only included each other. Non of his family or mine would inherit. His daughters will have nothing to do with me now and by their tantrums at his funeral as they considered themselves the most important mourners even though I had been his wife for thirty years. They totally ignored me and tried to take over. It didn’t work and they have ignored me and every attempt I have made to make contact since. I admire you honouring Richard’s wishes. I would love to include Brian’s immediate family in my current will but afraid they made their wishes known and that is, they want nothing to do with me, although we had a previous good relationship, so I will not insult them by offering them anything from me in the future. It’s a shame it had to be like this.
Pat xxx
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Hi. Pat.
It’s such a shame that on top of the grief you had to go through all that. It’s totally beyond me what gets into people. How difficult it all is and how sad. Love is a much used and much abused word. ‘I love my car’. How can the word love be used for such a mundane thing as a car? The understanding of love is lost. It’s about compassion, caring, empathy and, above all understanding. It’s not possible to divide it, lose it or abuse it. It’s like the air we breath, it’s always there but mostly unrecognised. Nothing to do with sex, gender or race. It’s universal. Unless we all, the world included, bring back love we are lost. The founders of all the great religions recognised it and taught it. Most of us here know what love is like. It’s impossible to describe it as is grief. The amount of pain is the amount of love lost. But we have to admit it is in short supply. This is not being cynical but a fact.
Take care all. John.
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Hi John, your so right and I appreciate the way you have explained it. I think all on this forum have learnt the meaning of real love, as hard as it is and so sad that we have had to learn the hard way. I hope that we can now offer the hand of love, compassion and caring to others.
Take care
Pat xxx
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A lovely post, Pat x