Hi everyone, how do you all cope with your birthdays after.losing your Husband or partner, its my 70th end of this month, I lost Alan on July 25th 2022, we had been married nearly 40 years, i had my birthday.last year just 2 months after he died, i was in a daze , really, not sure.what was going on, about me, Alan died.at home in front of me , I held his hand when he slipped away, I got by , with help of Family and Friends, this year they keep saying what do you want for your birthday, stay in , have party at home, go out, etc, I keep saying I. dont know, i just get annoyed with this crap situation, that my Husband would have sorted this out, and hes gone. I know theyre only thinking of me, am I being unreasonable or just still a grieving Widow, a word I hate, its not their fault hes died, really.I’ve never been very good at making my mind up,
Hi @Sandra19531, I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband Alan. I’m just giving your thread a, “bump” - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
You can also search for different topics by clicking the magnifying glass at the top of the page. Here are some search results for birthdays if you’d like to take a look.
I hope whichever way you choose to mark (or not) your birthday feels right for you.
Take good care,
Seaneen
Morning Sandra,
Like you I’ve a big birthday coming up. My third birthday without my hubby.
I’ve asked our family, no balloons, no banners, no frills. We are going out for a meal but I compromised by saying a cake for the grandchildren as they like to take turns in blowing out the candles.
Like you, I don’t like the “W” word.
G. X
Thanks Seaneen, I will certainly have a look at those birthday suggestions.
Hi Grandma.
Thanks for your post, nice to hear from you, I’m sorry.for.your.loss, too, you sound like youve managed to still enjoy your birthdays, so least youve said.what you want.and dont want. Im sure our special.Birthday will still be celebrated, in the best way we can, i wish you, A Very Happy birthday when it gets here, xx
Morning Sandra,
I hope you have a peaceful birthday - very hard I know.
We went out for a Chinese, I specifically said no balloons, banners etc. Our son was picking me up - girls had balloons out car windows ! On the table - balloons, cake was brought thru restaurant lit up but I just accepted it and hoped noone knew me!
Off now to get my flu jab, covid booster and at some point the shingles jab. Hopefully no after effects.
Please enjoy your special birthday the best you can 
.
Kath. X
Hi Kath,nice to hear from you, sounds like your birthday was very nice, i know ,you feel like you tell them ,no banners, no balloons, but they just go ahead and do it anyway. Underneath, thats lovely, they really care and love you, so you enjoyed your day best you could,
Mines next Thursday ,so family coming round, will have some eats on, so going with the flow, on Friday going out with them for a family meal, so think its going to be nice, got my Sons birthday 2 days before mine ,so will concentrate on his first, im sure itll all be lovely, just wish my Hubby waa around for it, it is what.it is, though. Got to make the best of things.
Good luck with your flu jab etc, my flu jab is early October, so mo doubt be offered covid jab, shingles, we’ll be like pin cushions afterwards,
Anyway , take care, I’ll let you know how my birthday went, x Sandra. X
Hi Kath, thought id let you.know how my birthday went ,it was last Thursday, it was in my house, my Sister, helped with the food, sandwiches buffet food, family and friends, dropped in and out, through the day, i got a lovely cake with candles, and felt like a queen for the day, was really nice day, which i must admit.i was dreading, missed my Husband ,but put a brave face on and enjoyed the day, felt sad when they all left, but told myself , now come on, youve had a.lovely day, be happy, 14 months now since my Husband died, and i sometimes panic thinking what will I do without him x
Hi Sandra,
I’m glad your birthday went well.
I plod on till something needs fixing , have a panic, then I ask myself what would Ian do??
My first birthday without Ian (in 50years) was very sad & lonely.
Our daughter & granddaughter both tested covid positive days before. I booked a test to prove I was negative but son & wife (both Polly Panics) didn’t visit - not even to talk thru the window or leave a card until I got the “all clear”.
I certainly won’t forget that birthday!!
I had my flu & booster jabs and felt like a limp lettuce that night.
I’ve to wait for the GP surgery to contact me re the shingles jab.
All we can do is our best and not overthink things. Hard isn’t it?
Take care,
Kath. X