I sometimes find myself mining my dead parents. it has been since 2016. it took time to not do this too much. but sometimes I do. I am not sure if it is good or bad … but I think too much can be bad.
if anyone else is still doing it, I think the people who survive this world best are able to move on. like some men seem to move on fast from dead wives to go on and date. in some ways this is good because life is so short.
I just must resist dwelling and move myself along too but as women maybe more challenging. just a thought.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your parents. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
I guess by “mining” you mean you think a lot about your parents who died in 2015. My father died in 2012 and my mother in 2020, and I still think about them, but nowadays I try to celebrate the happy times we had together, rather than remembering the last few difficult years of their lives. I don’t see why it should be a problem to “mine” your parents, as long as you have also allowed yourself to move on with your life, which is what they would want you to do.
Also your point about men and women grieving differently - this is most certainly true. Pushing grief to one side and moving on (typical male reaction) is not in the long run as healthy for a bereaved person as talking about grief and allowing the time for it to subside (female reaction).
thank you. my friend’s father died in March. when we have dinner, I offer to talk about his grief and he thanks me and we move onto other things. we are just friends so his GF probably helps him with this.
I will always fallback to mom and dad. won’t be a day in my life when I won’t. and yes, that is A-OK.
