Miscarriage

Losing a child
1

My pregnancy with my second child was wrong from the start i attend emergency pregnacy unit with heavy bleeding a scan was taken i had a subchronic hematoma i was assured the normally self correct and everything would be okay scans booked for every two weeks to monitor and to attend with bleeds throughout my pregnacy i attend many times one hematoma healed a week later i had another i cried was scared the doctor assured me i was being silly to cry or to be upset baby will be fine baby will be born happy and healthy will fix itself a week later i had a fluid leak i went to the emergency unit again doctor said without looking or doing anything its a sign of healing i said something was wrong i had pain the whole pregnacy but extremly that day but she just booked me for a scan the following week i went to scan she had booked the wrong scan as i was over 12 weeks pregnant so can no longer have vaginal scan she also booked it under the wrong date of birth they had no more scans avalible until the 5th of jan i went into labour 27th dcember 2023 at home around 11.30 i went to hospital they couldn’t decide what was wrong i couldn’t stand i was screaming in pain having contractions 19 weeks pregnant they refused to give me pain relief or do anything because they couldn’t understand whats going on i wanted to go toilet my mum helped me up from the bed i had to request to have my waters broke about 30 minutes later my baby was born in a blood clot twice the size of it like jelly set to her they said nothing to me they took my baby they cut the cord they just left me there bleeding evrywhere they then had to chnage my bed as i soaked it in blood then they offered me to see baby they gave me itemes i couod give to baby i asked if one of the bears could go with baby for autopsy they said yes so i gave my baby a kiss and tucked a purple bear with her they took her then diddnt tell me she was being sent to another hospital i received her body back last week hospital said they was sorry theres nothing left of baby which was not what i was told on phone i cried asked why they would lie to me she then opened the box baby is still intacked she didnt look she saw my bits of placenta that came out couple of days after baby so babys body is whole she was taped in a carbored box wrapped in hospital padding that was sticking to her i delivered baby to funeral directors hospital claim to have no results of test so i called the hospital where autopsy was done they said it was defiantly given over with baby but the bear completely disappeared i just wanted her to not be alone and they told me baby was a girl i found out today her name is Delilah and she is my little princess forever but i feel like i cant even give her a proper send of i cant afford funeral costs and the goverment dont help unless over 24 weeks she was around 19 weeks old so she dosent even classify legally as a life my little girl and i cant even afford to send her off in a horse in carriage it just make me feel so guilty not being able to spoil her i was supposed to have my whole life to spoil her and my son in gifts and joy over the years and i cant believe theres no one out there that helps with funding these funerals for these babies she was alive i watched her drink in the womb in my scan i felt her kick when her brother would talk to her i know she made me want crackers rather then cholcate like my son she was her own person already i love and miss her so much its killing me

2

Hello @Pink28122023,

I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your baby Delilah that brings you here. What you have been through sounds extremely traumatic and it’s totally understandable that you need some support right now.

Here are two organisations which you could try getting in touch with who can support specifically with baby loss:

Sue Ryder also has some resources which can help you cope with grief.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Lizzie

3

you might find the funeral palour will do a funeral free if they are under 16, whether it covers a baby that young i dont know, i know my grandsons was free.