This time last year i was nout to ring paramedics because mom was in pain with her stomach. Ended up to be perforated bowel. Still can not believe to this day this happended. Just been diagnosed with osteoarthritis of the hip. This month is a difficult month
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Hi @Bestie18 ,
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community 
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
You may also find this Sue Ryder article helpful - Remembering a loved one: death anniversary | Sue Ryder
Take good care,
Alex
I am soo sorry to hear about you loss and the horrid way it happened. My Mum died this time last year tomorrow and it has replayed in my head some of the hard moments. We has some good ones as well but the difficult ones are the ones that replay. I guess they will until I can let go of them and recognise she is at peace now and that it was and happened. I can’t change it and she would prefer I remembered all the happy years we had no the last few weeks which were but moments in our time together.
It’s easy to say it out loud but so hard to do. I hope you can find some peace to remember her love as well 
Thank you, in time i suppose it will get easier, just so raw at the moment, especially with the hospital and the way she was treated in QE Heritage building, can’t get those images out of my head
Each day is a different day. Be kind to yourself and allow your emotions. It doesn’t get easier it just gets different. The bad parts fade and become less important than the life memories and the love you shared.
Grief takes time and anger is a large part of grief. The more you can express your feeling and let them go the less important they become. I hope today is an easier day X
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HI Bestie 18,
Same happened to my mum. Twisted bowel so was put on end of life. Treated awful in the hospital and I am traumatised after it. Like you I cant believe it all happened. Its been a year and a half since mum passed and i am still trying to work out why to so many questions.
My guilt for phoning 999 and the ambulance taking her into hosp will stay with me forever. Just wish I hadnt phoned.
Thats all we can do now is keep going and somehow live our lives as our lovely mums would want us to. We will never be the same and its the start of a new life but we have to I guess carry on somehow.
Just take small steps and focus just on the day ahead. Put yourself first and try to get stronger each day. Thats all you can do for now as the grief is so painful.
Keep posting on here as there are so many people who will reach out to you and support you through this site.
Thinking of you
Deborah x
Thank you Deborah, anniversary of mom passing tomorrow morning at 9.45. So hard, have all these images in my head of mom in hospital. Miss her so much.
I found the same leading up to Mums anniversary of passing. I literally wa are playing moments that were haunting me. Did I do right, could I have done better, the words and her face all so alive in my mind. It was horrid but I just had to tell myself, it has happened and she is not in pain now. What happened, happened and was awful but I can’t change anything now.
When you bring yourself to the now and try and reflect on the whole of your Mums life not just that moment it really helps. I was lucky to have shared such a lot with my Mum and she had enjoyed a good life. I don’t want to only replace the last weeks and days that weren’t so good. There were some good moments even then and some laugh as you have to. I have found reliving has helped me let go a little. I miss her soo much but I cry happy tears when I can, not sad ones. Glad she was and has been a huge part of my life and made it what it is and me who I am. That’s got to be worth remembering as well.
Be kind to yourself and try to remember the good with the bad until the good becomes the bigger memory
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Thank you Anna for the message, very comforting. Hard to think of my life moving forward without mom in it. She was my mom and best friend 
Hi Bestie,
It’s been 18 mths since I lost mum. I have just existed. Haven’t moved forward yet. Just can’t without her. She was my everything.
We just have to get through each day somehow until we gradually get stronger I guess. Wish I knew how though.
Thinking of you.
Deborah x
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Sorry to you all for your terrible pain. It is just taking one day at a time. Being kind to yourself and allowing the feelings to be accepted and acknowledged.
Life without our Mum’s isn’t the same and we won’t ever stop missing her. The loss of a Mum really is like no other. Hope today is the best it can be for you all
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Thank you Seychelles
I have said the same thing about just existing and struggling to move forward without mom. Doing my hobbies helps and then I would share what I made with mom. Just have to take one day at a time. Sending hugs.
Thank you Anna, will never be the same without mom, losing mom is on another level I have never had before with other losses.