My beautiful mum age 61 passed away suddenly on Friday 4th Jan 2019. Went to bed fine, but in the morning my Dad just couldn’t wake her.
I miss her so much we were so close mum was my best friend and I’m totally lost and heartbroken without her. I feel like I have lost part of me and I’m just so sad. I’m 40 and have 3 gorgeous children and a wonderful husband. But they are all greifing and I just can not bear to see them all so broken. My Dad is just totally heartbroken mum and Dad have been together for 45 years. I Was signed off for work for 6 weeks. I went back for a while but I have just been signed off work again. I just don’t know how I can be without mum. Please can some one help me. I feel so anxious and panicky. I have heart palpitations and just can’t stop crying. I can’t believe I’m writing on here, I just feel like I can’t and won’t e
Accept that mum has been taken from us all to soon
Hello Lisa78.
It’s heartbreaking what has happened to you, your Mum and family. I’m really sorry. Are you feeling any steadier today? My loss is a different relationship type but I can empathize with you about the palpitations, thudding chest etc. It’s awful when you feel your heart racing so badly. I don’t know how you feel about tablets but your Dr will be able to give you something to slow your racing heart down and therefore make you less panicked, they aren’t “mind-altering”. It’s not what anyone would want I imagine but I’ve heard they help some people. Please don’t suffer in silence, the danger can be that over time the feelings of panic become a natural state for you and what was once a natural and short term isolation turns into something harder to overcome. I unfortunately have and am still experiencing this.
I hope you get some replies soon from someone who too has lost their Mum and will identify better with how you must be feeling. I hope today is kinder to you Lisa.
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply back to me. I’m still feeling the same I just can’t bear to have my life without mum. We saw each other almost every day. And if we didn’t meet up that day then we would talk on the phone or text and snap chat as mum didn’t only look young like mum was my sister she was so young in her ways. Mum was the only person who gave me the best advice in life. I have to have a ECG on Friday just to check everything is OK with me. I think because of my friagle state they are doing it to give me peace of mind that I’m OK. I have not had tablets as I have not had a good reaction with some in the past. I hope u are ok as sounds like you have had a rough time? You take care
Hope everything goes ok for you with the ECG. At least it will be one less thing to worry about when the results come back clear. I read your sad loss was in January, maybe the shock and numbness has worn off and has opened the door to anxiety. It’s not nice when you can physically feel your heart pounding. I feel I’m personally in anticipatory grieving for my Mum now and once wondered how my Husband would cope with me when the worst happened. Sadly I lost my outwardly fit and healthy Husband to a heart issue a while ago and I still can’t comprehend how that happened. Life can have some cruel shocks in store for us all can’t it. I wish you well for the ECG later. Kindest wishes to you. Just keep holding on somehow.
Hello
I understand how you feel. I lost my mum 7 years ago after being diagnosed with cancer 4 months before. I never thought I would have lost her as she too was my world. Unfortunately you will be on a roller coaster for a very long time, but with help from counselling and anti-depressants you will get there.
It took me a few years before I finally felt me again, but then tragically I lost my dad 8 months ago within 2 weeks diagnosis of cancer again and I’m now back on it. This time round though, I am letting myself grieve straight away and went straight to the doctors when it happened.
Blocking up your feelings will not help you, so my advice is take each day at a time and allow yours emotions to come out.
Take care of yourself xx
Hello
I understand how you feel. I lost my mum 7 years ago after being diagnosed with cancer 4 months before. I never thought I would have lost her as she too was my world. Unfortunately you will be on a roller coaster for a very long time, but with help from counselling and anti-depressants you will get there.
It took me a few years before I finally felt me again, but then tragically I lost my dad 8 months ago within 2 weeks diagnosis of cancer again and I’m now back on it. This time round though, I am letting myself grieve straight away and went straight to the doctors when it happened.
Blocking up your feelings will not help you, so my advice is take each day at a time and allow yours emotions to come out.
Take care of yourself xx
Hi my loss is very different from yours im so so sorry for your loss just to let you know your in my thoughts x
Hi Tina I hope today is kinder to you in my thoughts take care as much as possible Adele x
To Lisa78
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my precious mum on 11th December last year. Like you I am totally devastated and heartbroken. My mum was a fit and healthy 81 year old and lived independently. Her passing was such a shock and very unexpected. She was my best friend and I miss her so much it hurts. I too went back to work a couple of months after she passed but had to be signed off again as i wasn’t coping well. I think about her all the time and wherever I go there are constant reminders of the things we did together. Its just so hard and the sadness can be overwhelming. You feel as if life will never be the same again and you can’t bear the thought of never seeing her again. All I am doing is taking one day at a time and trying to get through as best I can. Some days I still cry a lot and feel so sad and others I get through by keeping busy. It helps me to talk to others and its also important to take care of yourself too as hard as that can be. I have been walking a lot and gardening helps to occupy my mind too. I hope you can find the strength to get through this difficult time. I am thinking of you and your family take care
Louise x
Hi my loss is very different im so so sorry for your loss it’s heartbreaking in my prayers and thoughts take care as much as possible Adele x
I’m so sorry to hear about your mum, I lost my mum over Christmas 2018 and it’s been unbearable, i was so grief stricken at first and my heart physically hurt, I then went numb for a few months and now I’m experiencing exactly what you are, the overwhelming anxiety and feeling my heart racing in my chest or beating really heavily, at times my mind has been so all over the place and full of thoughts that I’ve felt a little crazy, just know you aren’t the only one and you aren’t alone, we’re all in this together and it’ll never get better but we can learn to cope with it
I feel just the same as you my mum was 85 passed away 3rd February Shall I tell my doctor I cared for her for 32 years I feel lost I have a wonderful husband and family I am struggling with my brave face. I just want to be in my own is this normal.
Hi thank you for your replying to me, I’m so sorry u must be feeling just like you did when your mum passed away. you are in my thoughts take care
Hi Lise, I lost my mum almost 18 months ago now. The time goes so quickly and it still seem like yesterday. I understand about the panic attacks and anxiety, I’ve had those, palpitations, too. Its such a huge thing to lose your mum, whose always been there, sometimes I wonder how we are even meant to just accept it, I sit and day dream about my mum still here, that the phone will ring etc. 18 months on, although as I said it feels as if it just happened, but I have started to sleep longer at night, I was waking every couple of hours in a total panic, so I think it does get easier with time. I don’t think there is any other way than just accepting all the feelings that come along.
Dear Lise,
I was so sorry to read about what you have and are going through. There is no grief like that following the loss of one’s Mum. My beautiful mother, aged 85, passed on January 7th of this year. Although she’d been unwell we thought she was getting better and so when she died it was totally unexpected. I still find it hard to actually write the word “died”. I can’t believe that it applies to my Mum. Although she died at home with me, my partner and Dad around her and holding her we all remain in a state of shock and disbelief. Like you with your Mum, and others who have replied to you, the sense of loss is profound. It’s an emotional and physical ache that goes to your very core. I have never experienced anything like this. I haven’t an answer or a quick fix, because there are none. But all any of us can do is take each day in turn. Some will be more difficult and painful than others. I’ve decided to have grief counselling as I need help to cope with my Mum’s death. Family and friends have been wonderful and so supportive. I realise how fortunate I am. But I need the help of a professional counsellor as I’m just not coping. But what I also try and do each day is think what my Mum would be telling me. I know she’d say “My gorgeous girl remember I’ll always love you and will be with you. Please live your life to the full. That is what will make me so happy”. But I need a great deal of help to do that and in honour of my magnicient and gorgeous Mum that is what I am determined to get. This is sent to you, and all others going through what we are feeling, with much love xxx
Hello Lise,
Im so so sorry for your loss.
My Mum passed on the 25th of May 2019. Unexpected although Mum suffered with Dementia, was bed bound and my little sister and brother cared for Mum 24/7. I didn’t visit as much as I should have but Mum was my light, heart soul. My best friend, my dearest rarest rose. My whole world. I was with Mum when she took her last breaths. My heart is broken. The pain is so deep. Nothing I have ever experienced before.
Being there for your children and family does help. Thats what is getting me through right now. But I have had to come away to be on my own to grieve. My emotions are all over right now. But I find solace in knowing my Mum is no longer suffering. She is free.
I can’t tell you how to get through this as I am also trying to cope too but I know my Mum wouldn’t want me to hurt and to try and get on with life. Im trying and days are so hard. Up and down but being with family does help.
Sasha x