Miss my dad so much but so worried about mom on her own

Lost dad 4 months ago and it hurts pretty much just as bad now but think mom is struggling so much and I can’t be there all the time for her. Mom and dad were married for 50 years and were never apart.


So sorry for the loss of your Dad.

I was with my partner 27 years, we were glued at the hip, very close and loved each other a lot, now I’m lost without him.

Just phoning your mum once a day to check in will support her as she will feel very lonely, can you visit her maybe once a week, as that’ll be something for her to look forward to.

Wow 50 years together is an amazing amount of time.
Does she have any other family to support her.

Sending you and your Mum a big hug.
Amy x

Thanks very much and sorry for loss. Luckily we live really close so I see her probably every day it’s just every time I drive off and I know she’s alone it breaks my heart, I just wish I could make I go away for her but I know I can’t. I showed her sum things online that might help her but she just said It won’t bring him back and that’s all she wants. I’m doing my own grieving but I almost feel more pain for her than myself. Thanks for messaging because this is the first time I’ve been able say any of these things.

Hi Andy. I understand how you’re feeling: I have three boys and their partners. Have you asked your Mum what she wants? They phone and text and come round and sometimes I just have to ask them, in a nice way, to leave me alone for a couple of days. Because sometimes she might not want to try to put a brave face on for your sake. And she will be thinking of you, I’m sure.
I understood that at first they felt they just had to be there for me, but it got to be too much. She might need to just be alone to deal with her grief sometimes. To cry, scream and shout without worrying about how someone else might feel. You should ask her. I’m sorry for the loss of your Dad. I know from how my boys are coping that it isn’t at all easy.

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My mum didn’t want to live when dad died. She had no idea how to change a plug or a bulb. Eventually she she realised we were there for her. 21 years after dad died this January mum passed. I dont understand how she lived with the pain we now suffer…

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Hello Philleveller

For many of us grieving on here we have to put one foot in front of the other and carry on, carrying our grief with us and trying to cope with whatever life throws at us. I doubt we ever feel the same, but as days, months, years pass we have more good days and not so many bad, but we will have times when the pain knocks us of our feet, but we get back up quicker and go about our day again.
Take care
Amy x