My father died last week (27/09)
He had terminal cancer but we thought we had a few months with him but on the 27th things changed very quickly and within 5 hours he was dead. Luckily I was with him when he passed but I just can’t believe it’s real. Sorting funeral arrangements, sorting banking issues etc dealing with so many things he would normally do and it’s like it’s not real. I just keep thinking he’s either upstairs in bed or in hospital and I’ll see him in a minute.
He was my rock and my constant.
My mother is in pieces and I hate seeing her this way.
Not sure what I expect from posting this other than to know I’m not alone
My father died last week (27/09)
Hi @ZoeQ I’m so sorry. I know what you mean about your rock and your constant - it’s devastating to lose that. As you say, it’s just not real. For me it was my mum, who died earlier this year. It is still unbelievable that she isn’t here any more - today I want to talk to her so much and it’s crazy hurtful that I can’t just FaceTime her for a chat and a laugh or go round to see her for a cup of tea and just talk.
You aren’t alone - there are so many people who understand the pain of the loss you are experiencing. I do find that it helps to know that.
ZoeQ, I am very sorry for your loss, this is awful and incredible, that your dad is one minute here, and then nowhere. You aren’t alone, my heart aches now as well, I can’t imagine that my dad isn’t here any more. I don’t care anything, I am very sad, and my mother is in pieces as well. If you would like to email or chat on messenger, please write me, I would like a person who write to and help each other. Send you hugs.
@ZoeQ I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad.
I too was helping with the funeral and finance side of things as dad was our rock and he didn’t want mum or any of us to worry. But I take after my dad (strong/leader) and know he’d be proud that I cracked on with that and was the strong one for us.
We lost dad in June, he was the most selfless man I ever knew and always always put everyone before himself. 4mths on and I’m still in floods of tears, the guilt sets in for still living, guilt of having “happier” days…it’s like a dream still, it just doesn’t seem real that he can be gone. It upsets me that mum has lost her whole world, they would’ve been married for 43yrs this December, it breaks my heart to see her lost and upset.
All I can say is, look after yourself and take the time to grieve and rest and recharge. If you’re not fully rested you’ll not be able to support your mum fully. I feel like I’m snapping at mum and my sister but they say I’m not (it’s just they know I’m putting too much pressure on myself and not grieving) so please, take care of yourself, rest and grieve, feel your emotions, don’t suppress them, cry, cry and cry some more. Just be there for one another as best you can. Your mums grief is on a whole other scale to yours but you’ll get through this
My therapy tends to be turning my thoughts/feelings into poems. Also, I craft and focusing on setting that up as a business is a good thing for me as I’m going to make dad proud. He was a supporter of me.
Take things minute by minute xx
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad in June and it has just been a rollercoaster of emotions ever since. It’s comforting to hear others in the same situation. My mum seems to be coping well although I know she has down days but my brother and I and our families are trying to support her as much as we can. It all still feels so unreal and so unfair.
Sending you love x
Just like me.