Im 32 and lost my husband on the 29th. It was a shock. Theres so much paperwork to sort out which im finding hard cos thats what he did. Im finding it hard on my own and sleeping in our bed. Apart from work ive never been without him. I dont know how to cope. It doesnt feel real, i keep expecting him to text or come back.
Hi Julie, I am so so sorry for the loss of your lovely husband and you’re still so young. It certainly is a shock no matter what age you are. Let me welcome you to this site but it’s not a site you would choose to be on. There are lots of folk on here who will understand the pain you are experiencing and I hope you will continue to post and read other’s posts.
Take care, AL x
How you describe your feelings is exactly how I feel I lost my husband yesterday ,all I can say I truly know how you are feeling I’ve never felt anything like it and just want to lay down and not wake up ,what is the point of anything
Lost my spouse the beginning of Sept., and every day it just feels like I can’t go on. I just want to go also. The struggle bus is real.
J
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I can honestly say I have never felt heartache like this what are we supposed to do if only someone had an answer
It’s a club none of us want to belong to. It’s 12 weeks since I lost my wonderful husband, he was my soul mate & best friend. We were inseparable, didn’t need anyone else. I’m on my own & my life feels empty , I simply can’t imagine my future without him. I have grown up sons who don’t live near me but are incredibly supportive & have lost their Dad who was the heart of our family. I’ve tried bereavement counselling but found it exhausting & in my case didn’t help. I’ve no idea how I’m going to get through the winter, I hate the cold & dark, my husband & I used to pull the curtains & just love being together.
Virtual hugs to everyone suffering in this way.
Kg.
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I really feel for you, losing someone you love is so painful. My husband was admitted to A&E in May and passed away three weeks later. I just cant get past the guilt and regret, you say goodbye at the ambulance and cant visit until the end. Its heartbreaking. I feel so sad and alone
Yes my husband was admitted into hospital a week yesterday and six days later he’s gone I just honestly don’t know how I’m going to carry on without him he dealt with all our finances,bills,insurance etc and I just looked after him we never had a massive circle of friends because we just didn’t need other people my heart is literally breaking in two what will i
It’s so hard, I live in an area with no mixing of households because of Covid. I often feel that I want a big hug, but no one is here. It’s so lonely. During the first few weeks I just wanted to be with my husband. people keep telling me there is no right or wrong way to grieve or time scale.
Yes I’ve been god the same I haven’t had a shower since Friday when I last visited him in hospital the doctor was so positive about his recovery so I was on a high going home then 1 am I get a call to say all his organs were failing and to come up when I got there he was on a ventilator I sat with him until he passed worst day of life
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To all the new folk on this site I give you welcome. It’s not a place we would want to meet on, but you are all in the best possible place. There is no one here who does not know the agony of grief. The ups and downs of this process can seem overwhelming and so very painful. The metaphor of the little ship in a rough sea being tossed about is appropriate. If we are not going to capsize we must turn into the wind and ride out the storm.
At times, it may seem impossible. Even though it is very early days for most of you, and any suggestions would be superfluous, there is still some little thing to grasp onto. It’s a very faint light in the distance. Some of you may not see it yet, it’s too soon, but it is there. Two years ago the light went out of my life when My wife died. But as time went on the light appeared and got brighter. I will never forget, none of us will, but we need to allow this process of grief to take it’s course. It will anyway.
There is no answer. The ‘whys’ keep coming, and it’s best not to dwell on unanswerable questions. I am not minimising your pain. We all know only too well. A broken heart can never mend, but it can be held together by the love you had. Good days and bad days will come, but as time passes the good days become more frequent. Take care and let time pass. Allow emotions to come, very important. Blessings and love to all. John.
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I’m the same, my husband did everything. I’ve just had a massive meltdown as I can’t slide the bolts to open my side gate, I need to bring the wheelie bin in! I’ve no idea what to do, my husband would have got out his tools & sorted it.
Last week a smoke alarm battery needed replacing, I couldn’t reach it & just sat & cried…eventually the postman came & I asked him to take it down ( it was by the front door!)
I feel so helpless. We didn’t need friends either, we were more than happy just having each other. My husband had cancer but it was treatable or so we were told! He had one course of treatment which effectively killed him. He spent 2 horrendous weeks in hospital with no visitors I keep going over it in my head, he hated it there but they said he wasn’t end of life so I couldn’t visit. I eventually got him discharged & cared for him in his final days but he was too weak to talk & I feel so cheated at losing valuable time with him. Maybe one day I’ll feel better but it’s 3 months & I feel worse. Sorry to be a miserable person.
Virtual hugs to others feeling the same way xx
Oh kg I really do feel so sad for you I wish I could give you words of comfort and tell you it will be ok but I can’t ,I was looking for the log book for the car today but I just cannot find it Tony would have gone straight to it,I know it probably sounds bizarre but I though I would try and occupy my mind I ended back on the bed with a glass of wine and my little doggie ,wish I could hug you but I’m sending you one xxx
Thats exactly it. He had 4 grown up daughters which are supportive but its not the same. They didnt see him everyday etc. He was always at home, especially in evenings. Its lonely here. And so hard coming back and hes not here.
I cant imagine being in lockdown. My friends have been everything. I plan people coming so im not on my own as much. Its hard enough that my close friend is in lockdown cos her husband is having an op on weds.
my husband died in May, he became ill In april and died in hospital 3 weeks later, he would have hated that, he always said i dont want to die in a hospital, like some here i was not allowed to visit, and just when i thought he was comming home (i knew it would only had a little time left) then the phone call came, i was with him when he died, i was in shock for days, i have had counceling before and the coping methods kicked in, but somedays i just cry, like today when i collected and baged my husbands coats, i have kept one, it huge on me, but i wear it.
doing things and sorting things out are a hard work, but i do have my sons who are and have been a great help. somethings i have learned to do myself. my husband was a great family man but not a sociable person, the covid is a nightmare slows everything down my family dont live near me, and i really would love a hug.