I lost my mum suddenly on 29th Dec. I feel lost without her as saw or spoke to her most days as only lived 4 doors away. She was a single parent who raised me on her own and when I became a single parent she was always there for me and my son. We went on holiday together, out for dinner everything together. The routines we had are now gone. I had to hand the keys back to the housing for the place she called home for more than 30 years, this was harder than expected as it was the last time I walk back into her home. This grief is so much more to deal with than anything I ever had to.
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Dear Valda
I’m so very sorry for your loss. A Mum is such a very special person in our lives and when they’re gone we feel so lost, bewildered and in such pain. I know as my Mum died before Christmas and I had seen her every day of my life for 72 years. I understand the loneliness of losing a Mum, they are the one person who knows you best and in whom you can confide. My Mum was my best friend just as your Mum was your best friend. I know how hard it is to go into your Mum’s home after she’s gone because you can sense her there. I know nothing I can say will help or make your pain less terrible but you are not alone - there are so many of us on this website who know what you’re going through and how much it hurts. Sending love and a hug. Take care. xxx
Thank you for your message. Reading some of the comments I know I am not alone in feeling this way it’s just so difficult as she was the only parent I ever had as my dad was not in my life. My son misses her to as she was like a second mum to him and he was her pride and joy. I am taking each day as it comes its night time and when I wake up and realise its another day without her. X
So sorry for your loss. I also lost my mum 4 months ago suddenly. As I lost my dad at 9 it was always just mum and me until I had my son 10 years ago. He misses his granny terribly. I also have to face going back to mum’s home at some point. I’m dreading that. I live abroad and my mum was living with us when she died.
I find this forum really helps because we can connect and support each other through our grief. Sending love and strength. Kate x
Hi Kate, thank you for your kind words. I dreaded going through her things, even though its my mum it didn’t feel right and it took me a long time to do it as you have memories of certain clothes she wore and it was just heartbreaking knowing that I wouldn’t see her wearing them again. I have just packed them away and when I have the strength will go through everything its too raw just now. You take care also, to our mums 
xx
Im so sorry for the loss of your mum
Thinking of you at this sad time
I lost my mum 23rd Dec stage 4 cancer and Covid
I miss her terribly as she was my best friend my rock as well as my dear mother
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So sorry to hear this.
Mums are so special and we only get one.
Thinking of you at this difficult time.
Valda x
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Hi Valda, you take all the time you need love, my mum’s been gone 4 months and I still haven’t sorted her stuff out. I can’t bring myself to go into her bedroom where I found her. It’s silly I know, but it still feels too traumatic. I know I will keep and wear a lot of her tops and jewellery. I’ve even got her medication to dispose of. I used to make her pill boxes up every week. It’s the little things that really get to me. I just didn’t expect her to leave me so suddenly, it’s so hard.
cry:
Take care, always here for a chat.K xx
Hi Kate,
Thank you for your kind words. I cry and at least when I expect it as just hits me. My mum has some nice clothes to and I will probably have a new wardrobe, kept a couple of her coats. I have just packed everything away and when I am ready will go through it.
I picked up her ashes today and it just feels so final. I have chatted away to her and played her favourite music, she is somewhere cosy and warm until they are scattered as she didn’t like being cold .
You will get the strength to when you are ready, it’s just a lot at the moment and no point putting pressure on yourself. Sending hugs to.
Valda x
Oh bless you. My mum’s ashes are back with us in a special photo frame which incorprates her ashes behind it. I’ve put a lovely photo in it of mum, me and her beloved grandson taken on Mother’s Day 2 years ago. Mum wanted to be scattered in the garden to be near to us, but then I worried what if we move house? When I saw this photo frame I just knew she would have approved.
She’s here with us and I talk to her a lot.
Sending hugs. xxx
Awe that’s a lovely idea. She sounds just like my mum I have a son to and he was such a nanas boy, her pride and joy special bond they had.
My mum never left any wishes but she loved visiting family in florida so hopefully scatter some there so she is beside one of her favourite sisters and maybe a photo frame. Thank you so much just want to do the right thing for her. X
I’m sure your mum would be very happy with that idea Valda. How old is your son? Sudden death is tough on us adults, for the little ones its even more difficult to comprehend, especially if your mum was young. My son misses his granny so much too.xx
My son is 12 and my mum helped looking after him as I’m a single parent and she was always there, 1st day of primary, all his school shows etc. When he passed her house coming home from school she would be at her window to wave to him. We stay close to where she lived so that’s the difficult part.
Xx
Oh that must be so hard going past her house, there are just memories everywhere arent there? I get so nostalgic…How is your son doing? My son is not too bad, he’s been a source of comfort to me. Kids tend to live in the present don’t they?xx
He has his moments, we were watching something and they were moving house and it was empty and he burst into tears and said its just like leaving nanas and we won’t be going back. Her house was his second home and she still had some of his toys from when he was young. I try to keep him occupied but he can also pick up when I am down. My mum worked as domestic at NHS hospital and she was loved by all the staff. She worked in the cancer unit and I received a letter today saying they are planting a rose Bush in her memory, I have been an emotional wreck all day as whilst it makes me so proud I also miss her more than ever
Oh that is so lovely! I bet you are feeling proud of your mum and she will be too.
My son helps me too , I think he tries to stay strong for me bless. Most of my crying is when I’m alone and talking to mum when driving. After 4 months I still do this and it does help me.
It’s still very early days for you, it’s normal to have days when you are a wreck. Take a deep breath, tomorrow will probably be a little bit better. Sending hugs.xxx
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