I hope you manage to get it sorted it takes a long time I sleep ok . Lorraine
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You are so lucky then if you sleep ok,I have had pills for weeks and only get a few hours nut now no pills it is less.Michael x
I too lost my wife in October to terminal brain cancer. I too held her as she died, in the hospitable bed set up in our front room. I too fear being alone. I hate the silence at night and watch the sun rise every morning as I am already awake.
I feel lucky to have lived with a wonderful woman for 30 years, and I am still coming to terms with the new world order, life through the looking glass.
This thread is a painful read. But I want to thank you all for sharing.
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We have a very similar story my friend,I had 32 wonderful years with my darling Judith,it is scary to be alone after such a long time together.The long dark nights are going to be a major problem to us I think.I like you not sleeping that well ,having to take something to help me.I too was very lucky to have Judith ,such a strong woman.This new life is so demanding ,do not know if I will cope with it at the moment. My best to you Michael x
Iām so sorry. I was looking through some old photos of my wife the other day and it really brought home to me how much the surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy took its toll over almost four years. How it changed her from a stunningly beautiful woman to a scarred and pale version of herself. But she never lost her sense of humour, or her determination to lead as normal a life as possible. I loved her completely - right to the end and beyond. It has been 9 weeks now since she left me and I am back at work and trying as hard as I can to continue with life. I must, of course, because she wanted to live, but couldnāt. Like you I held her hand, stroked her hair and told her it was OK to go - that she didnāt need to suffer any more. Watching her take her final breaths was so painful that it is burned in my mind forever. Brain cancer is cruel beyond words. But now I try to think more about our happy times. I have many hundreds of photos of her on my phone and she is smiling and laughing in nearly all. It was my honour to be her partner, and to be the one who cared for her to the end. To consider anything other than living on would be an insult to her. We will be together again one day (perhaps) so I must not waste a single day that she would have treasured. My deepest condolences to you, WizenedSplash. I hope you find the courage to live on and carry her memory proudly.
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Yes, Cancer is very Cruel.
Six years my Valerie changedā¦
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Iām so sorry for you, too, Larry. I watched your wedding video - itās a powerful statement of your love for one another. No matter how things ended, you were blessed to have each other. Take care.
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Bobcaz,your video touched my heart,beautiful,
Look after yourself
Christine x
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Hi Christine. The video was LarryValās, not mine. But agree, it was very beautiful and touching.
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Oh yes sorry x
Morning ,such a moving message,very similar to mine,my darling wife paased away 8 weeks ago from stage 4 bladder cancer,all the emotions you had I had as well.All the treatments as well,pain and suffering these brave ladies faced day after day.Miss her so much , Michael x
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It has been 10 weeks now since Caroline passed away (pictured here just before she was diagnosed with a brain tumour). As the country gets prepared for Christmas, and the unavoidable town and shop decorations get switched on, I can feel myself becoming more apprehensive. I have both my grown up boys with me this Christmas, so I need to make the best of it for them, but if anyone has some helpful strategies for coping at this time of year, I would be very grateful. Iām sure that this is a very difficult time of year for all widows and widowers, and I think we will be leaning on each other more and more over the next few weeks. Caroline loved Christmas and seeing all the sparkly lights. We used to go to Dobbies garden centre in Morpeth at this time of year - they always had huge Christmas displays, and we would stop off at the coffee shop at take in the special atmosphere. There is so much about our life I miss now and it is hard to accept that these days are gone forever. Anyway - take care everyoneā¦x
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The video, so moving.
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So like us as a couple. Visit to the garden centre at Christmas. Each year I brought a new bauble for the tree. Then we would stop and have tea and cake in the restaurant before heading home.
Our tree is full of baubles which mean so much to us and hold many memories, holidays we went on, the Christmas shop in the Isle of Wight which was open all year round.
Out first bauble we brought together from harrods and me constantly telling him not to touch anything incase he broke something 
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Some from Gibraltar while he was working out there. I have 2 little fairies made out of safety pins and beads made by a group of brownies at a Christmas fete one year. The list is endless.
The tree will go up this year as I have family staying but it will be a sad event and I know I will be crying my eyes out the whole time while Iām doing it
Xxx
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Yes, that does sound like us. We also have baubles from many of the places we have visited. Christmas is going to be very tough indeed. Remembering how happy we were makes me very sad now, I miss the life we had together and I am still uncomfortable with the new life that I have been forced to accept. Iām sure you feel the same. Take care Dee64.
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We are visiting family on Christmas day, but I have suggested to my daughter (22) that we give each other presents on Christmas Eve, so we can go to bed and not have to do it Christmas morning, which I think will be very strange for both of us.
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