I’m missing my Dad a lot today, not sure why. The 1st anniversary of his death will be early December so I suppose I can feel it looming. Nothing in particular has happened but we used to talk for hours every day and I guess I feel quite isolated today.
This hasn’t been helped by the fact that 2 people who I used to be really close to have unfriended me on Facebook. They have been fairly distant these last couple of years but they haven’t responded to my last few messages and I was shocked to see today they’ve tried to cut me off completely. There’s been no row or disagreement. If I have offended them somehow (I don’t know how), I’d like to know so I can apologise or put it right.
I’ve tried to stay close to my Dads best friends (different people to those mentioned above) because I thought we were friends in our own right, but I’ve noticed that communication waning too. They don’t seem too bothered about keeping in touch. I really wanted to keep the connection to my Dad. Do people just forget other people after a few months?
Just a blue day I guess. Thank you if you’ve read this far
Hi. It’s coming up to a year for me too and I feel it in every way, just with the light and change of season. I’ve found there doesn’t have to be something in particular that triggers it, sometimes it just creeps up on you. I’m really sorry your friends have behaved like that, it adds extra stress to the grief. I suppose it’s that everyone has their own lives and slip back into that while we can’t, but it still hurts. Sending a hug. 
Hi Ulma,
Thank you so much for responding, it means a lot. My husband said something very similar actually about people having other priorities…I confess I rather selfishly thought ‘well why am I not higher up the list!’ I do know others have their own stuff going on of course. I suppose my friendships have always been so important to me it’s hard for me to acknowledge that many don’t put the same emphasis/importance on them as I do. It is easy to forget what others are going through. Thank you for the virtual hug…please have a back
I wouldn’t say that was selfish, in the best of worlds you would think a friend’s distress would rank high on the list. But it’s hard for someone not directly involved to understand the depth of grief and they probably want to assume that we are “better” because they don’t wish us sadness. The ones that unfriended you, would you feel comfortable asking them why? You don’t need the extra stress of wondering right now. 
Yeah it is something I have wondered. At the moment I think I’m just a bit upset and surprised at their behaviour. It might be in a few days I feel strong enough to ask them. Then again part of me is thinking if they don’t want me maybe I don’t want them? Gosh life is complicated isn’t it!
Sometimes people, even close friends just don’t know what to do or say… And end up distancing themselves. They don’t want us to be in pain but don’t always understand just how much we struggle. They do have their own lives and priorities and unless they are going through a loss, might not be able to empathise.
Sending a hug 
That is so sad that your friends have done that to you. Have you any idea why they’ve done that? My dad passed away 6 weeks ago and the anxiety and stress is awful aswell as missing him so much. Hope you have a better day tomorrow 
Thank you, to everyone, for their kind words. I hope we’re all feeling a bit stronger soon. It definitely comes in waves
I can feel your pain. Its horrible. No one is here for me 3 days after my dad passed away. People are cruel. Sending hugs.
Sorry to hear that. Is there anyone you can message or call? I’m a fan of the old fashioned hand written letter myself, its quite a relaxing and absorbing and people generally love to receive them. I know it’s not the same as having someone with you. Do you have a favourite tv show or radio programme? Again I know it’s not the same but I sometimes find the familiar faces/voices make me feel less alone
Yes just sitting at home today watching my favourite things taking it easy. I am off work this week, so its harder as i am not ao busy this week. I could try to talk to my bf and my friend but its not helping. Because they dont have the same situation. Its hard to understand if you dont go through the same things to understand. I am travelling before the weekend for my dad funeral and i cant face it at all.
I can relate to this so much, I feel like after losing my parents I also lost friends and it really showed me who my true friends are. I think some people find it really hard to know what to say/how to say it after something traumatic like losing a parent happens. I really hate it when I’m with people and as soon as they find out about what happened to me it starts to feel like they are walking on eggshells around me or start treating me differently.
As time goes on I feel like people do tend to ‘forget’ about it, and it isn’t always in the back of their minds like maybe it is shortly after losing someone so close. I hope you are okay, I can really relate to this.
I think you’re absolutely right. Thank you.
Friendships with people who dont understand my pain wont help me. Even my bf is absent. So my relationship is crumbling… i thought if i tell him the truth he will understand and appreciate. Nope. I am literally questioning everything at the moment in my life…i wish i have spent this time on spending time with my dad instead on wasting my time constantly on fake people
I know that feeling well. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Unfortunately we all realise the fake people too late.