I have been back at work on my phased return after losing my partner 3 months ago. It has been tough and i really dont know if i want to do this anymore. There has been changes and i feel like im not part of the team anymore. I really miss having my partner to talk to he was my rock and always listened and gave me good advice. Its so hard coming home to no one and that feeling of being alone.
I have just sat and sobbed the longing for Dave hurts so much.
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hi @Sue338 i absolutely can relate to this!! i lost my husband shaun in september and returned to work phased return in the november due to me having 2 months off whilst he was poorly then a month full pay… i had to return as not entitled to any help due to a death in service payment, and i have huge rent and bills to pay and 3 kids, so i have to work… i used to love my job, now i just feel like a complete outsider and can’t even function in office. i used to be so sociable/happy. always on the phone to shaun, come home to him everyday. now i just feel so lost and alone.
i agree it is so so hard!!
sending you all my love x x
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I lost mine 4/12/23and still
Off sick, absolutely dreading going back knowing he’s never going to be waiting for me in the car again or I have nobody to tell my day too 
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I’m going back tomorrow and I feel sick thinking about it. The closer it’s getting the worse I feel. It’s just that everything there will be as I left it when my life was brilliant and everybody won’t know what to say and will be feeling sorry for me. I don’t know what to say to them either. ‘No I’m not feeling better’ ‘No time isn’t a great healer’ ‘No I don’t want to meet your divorced friend’ ‘ Actually, just stand aside while I break down’ . I seriously think I’m losing my mind. Where has the capable career woman gone? Even worse, part of my job involves dealing with post-mortem reports. If they’ve forgotten to remove Alan’s I don’t know how I’ll cope. The one person I need to get me through isn’t there any more and never will be again. Sorry everyone for being so negative but its just so hard this ‘new normal’. Much love to everyone x
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@Arvia im so sorry for your loss xx please dont apologise for being so negative life for us is so hard and its a new way of living one which we havent chosen and one where we so long for our life before.
I found going back hard but everyone was supportive but they dont know what yo say andvi have had people saying they know how i feel i have replied unless you have gone through the loss of your soulmate then you dont know how i feel and i said i am not apologising if i suddenly break down. It has got easier but like i said earlier i dont know if i want do this anymore.
Sending you lots of love on your return to work and remember we are all here for each other x
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I’ve been reading your personal stories and thought I’d add to it. My loss my husband 13/10/23. I will be having a work conversation this week about returning.
I have mixed feelings much of which is saying I don’t want to , a bit of me wonders if it will give me a channel to focus on life.
There is this not wanting to move forward going back has that feel to it . We are returning to life without our loved one and I don’t want that feeling . We also have to find a way to manage others around us that will be challenging in itself people will get things wrong if they’ve not had a similar experience.
I know I don’t want to rejoin life yet because I will be surrounded by people going about their normal day to day business when I don’t feel like it.
Grief can become invisible how you feel others won’t see . Our lives are no longer what they were .
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Sorry for your loss I lost my partner on 2nd December 23 to brain cancer. I went back to work last Monday and was dreading it. It actually wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be the time went really quick as I was so busy. I needed that routine because I just didn’t want to go outside the door. Now I have a purpose to get up in morning and get dressed. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy at weekend. Nobody and nothing can fill the void I feel every waking day but I’m trying to take one day at a time. I miss him every second of everyday he was 55 x
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That was do young I am sending my heart felt thoughts . My husband was 58. I wanted more to xx
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