So unbelievably sad that we are all in this terribly painful journey. I lost my amazing husband 9 weeks ago. He had a liver condition and suffered a stroke in September. He fought so hard and was so brave and came home for 3 weeks, only to then develop seizures which meant he ended up in critical care, again he fought through and we were told he’d be coming home, however the next day it all took a terrible turn and due to bacterium in his blood we lost him. He was only 56 and I’m so sad that all the future we had planned has gone, I miss so much, I miss that feeling of feeling safe with him, I miss the silence of sitting together in the evenings watching rubbish on TV, not having to talk just enjoying being together, I miss how comfortable we were with each other, how we had changed over the years, how well we knew each other and we still loved each other so much, I miss the future adventures we would have gone on now the children are grown, I miss everything. I guess we all grieve so differently and there is no timeline to grief, but we all know how painful this is and can hopefully support each other. I’m scared of being alone for the rest of my life, but on the other hand can’t think about meeting anyone else.
Right now I’m taking a day at a time and hoping that this ache I feel will ease, if only for a little bit. We have an amazing family 5 wonderful children, their partners and a little Granddaughter, but sometimes even in a room full of people it’s scary how lonely you can feel isn’t it without your special person there. I’m sending love to all those that need it, be gentle on yourselves and take care xxx
I know exactly how you feel. To continue without your life partner and love of you life is unimaginable and it terrifies me. My husband was just 61 and only diagnosed with a pancreatic cancer in February 24 then passing away in the May. Nothing fills the void that is left. That connection you have had is irreplaceable. I am so sorry to hear your story but please know you are not alone in how you are feeling and that there are others out here who completely get where you are. Take care xx
@Sandie5 I’m so sorry for your loss, your husband was so young and such a short time from diagnosis, such a shock for you. They are irreplaceable in our lives aren’t they but I’m taking a day at a time, how are you doing on this journey? I guess, like us all, good days and bad x
Just still so sad really. Hard to navigate through and cope. Family are lovely and working gives a focus but the one thing I want I can’t have. I’m sure you feel the same x
@Sandie5 absolutely agree. We were together since we were 15 years old, would have been married 35 years this year, I’ve never been an adult without him around and so finding the way around a new ‘normal’ is so very difficult isn’t it. I guess we just put one foot in front of the other, blessed to have amazing families and wonderful memories x
No one can take the place of that one special person. I have 3 wonderful sons, 3 wonderful grandchildren, but their love is so different to the love I crave from my darling husband. The person who can convey so much in just one look. The person that you do not have to say a word as he knows you inside out. We were lucky to experience this. No one can take their place. Hopefully we can find some peace, some acceptance in the years ahead, and the memory of the love we did share sustains us in our old age.
@BeverleyD you are so right, blessed indeed, soul mates and best friends, just feeling so safe when we were together, feels very scary sometimes when realisation hits, but one day at a time x
@Sandie5
I too lost my Allan in a total of11 weeks.He was ill-diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and 4 weeks later died at home.I cant think about the future without him but know he isnt coming back no matter how much I wish for that.We were together 34 years and married for 29 years and 9 months.Its so lonely at times but knowing others share and understand our pain is helping me.
Jane it is so shocking isn’t it that the are here one moment and then gone so quickly. Pancreatic cancer is quick and cruel, robbing us of that precious time and giving us no chance to get our heads around what the heck is going on. It all feels like a blurr to me now, it went so fast. We were so hopeful initially and I feel silly now, should have known better. I’m a nurse and I should have known better. Having him at home to die was the only thing I can take comfort from.
@Sandie5
I know ,yes being here in his own surroundings meant the world to him and to me too.You have to find the smallest of positives /light in the darkness of losing them.
You may be a nurse but no don’t blame yourself for not knowing because for those we love,we have to keep hope in our heart.
Hope now too, hope that the pain we feel today will ease in the future.
Pancreatic cancer needs much more funding, only 3% currently!. So ive joined their lottery as a start.May be in time I’ll do something to fundraise more. Sending hugs
I know exactly how you feel …that feeling of safeness has gone and it feels like something is missing beside me. Sitting watching rubbish on tv together is a perfect description of what I’d really love just now 
I feel exactly the same. My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on 17th December 2024, he passed away 14th January 2025. My world has fallen apart, we were together 40 years and married for 33. I can’t believe that I will never see him again. It’s breaking my heart 
Sending love to everyone that’s hurting right now xxx