I am three years into the journey, I got the Xmas decorations out today, determined to get started, but I just ended up in a messy heap.
So I stopped, but I feel I should be doing it, I feel guilty for not doing it. Christmas should be a happy time, but I feel so sad 
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jilly, take one decoration and put it up where it belongs. Take a break and then put up another. All the decor doesn’t have to be displayed, pick your favorite pieces and put the rest back in the box. Some is better than none and less is better some times.
I am putting up my fake tree today. It has lights and may get no ornaments but It is going to be shining bright tonight. The nativity scene will be on display as well.
For me, it is a time to celebrate the fact that Jesus was born. Nothing else matters, really.
Much love.
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Thank you so much for your help xx
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I hadn’t thought of doing a bit at a time, that is a good idea x
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Im lost my hubby 8wks ago im not doung xmas this year it wont be the same. He lived xmas was like a big kid.
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Well the tree is up, still bare but it’s a startx
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Jilly we all feel sad. I try not to think too deeply about what I do. I play a part and hope if I keep pretending one day it will become a reality. It appears I would have made a great actress as it looks to everyone that I’m coping well. I was never one for decorations. It was always a running joke that if I had my way they would go up on Christmas Eve and come down on Boxing Day. All the family are coming to me so will put up the tree but not yet. I won’t be doing the outside lights though. That was his job.
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I just feel so sad, this is the first Christmas without my Gordon, he was a big kid too, loved getting the tree, putting up the lights, ordering the turkey and ham from the local butchers. This year it’s just all to painful, like it is for all of us who have lost someone special I can’t even listen to Xmas songs on the radio they just make me sadder.
.
Thinking of you all at this time of year x
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I feel your pain. My husband lovrd xmas. Likecyour husband he loved getting the out putting the decorations on it then putting the wreaths on the door. I just want to close my eyes and it all be over with. Theres only me we never had kids so its going to be just me at home. I hope you have a good time. Take care x
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It’s 9 Weeks since Jacqui passed, I can’t face Xmas, no decorations for me, done some simple purchases for family presents, hampers etc. Jacqui did all the xmas stuff for us, just making me feel so sad. She is missing the younger members of the family enjoying xmas and I hate that she can’t see it with me, she so loved the little ones.
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Hi yes I’m three years too and as much as I want to I can’t feel anything for Xmas, I pretend for my family and felt pressured by my family to put the tree up which I’ve done, there’s no joy or excitement just sadness and emptiness but maybe this is to be expected we were together forty two years, I feel like hibernating until it’s all over but I won’t I’ll keep plodding on hoping that at some point I may have a glimmer of the happiness of my life before, sorry to sound so miserable and bah humbug but I know Im not alone, sending love and hugs to all who have loved and lost x
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I try to be okay for my lovely children and grandkids, but it’s so hard. And all I feel is intense fatigue and sadness, hugs for you, every one in the same position as us xx
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My husband died 7 years ago 4th December, i put a tree up when he died the first year & haven’t had the heart 2 do it since.
So i really understand your sadness.
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Jilly well done
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Know exactly how you feel. Two and a half years for me and thought I would put up Christmas tree for the first time since. Saw all the toys we’d bought over the years from different countries we’d visited, and the very worst thing was that I couldn’t really remember some of the places. I don’t want to forget any part of our life together and I think I have. Set off yesterday getting the tree out of the garage and felt almost positive and now just a soggy mess. I have what would have been our 54th wedding anniversary the week before Christmas so a really horrible time altogether. I don’t think you should feel guilty, just do whatever feels right for you on any day and very best wishes.
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I know how you feel. Like you have no right to be happy. I am only 2 months since the love of my life died. This is my first holiday season and it sucks. I haven’t missed a day crying. It is so hard. God bless you.
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Two months is such a very short time but believe me it does get less ‘raw’ eventually. I’m two and a half years in to this and still shed tears every night when I go to bed alone and look at my dear husband’s photo and then again in the morning when I get up to spend another day without him but the tears are tears now and not the sobbings they used to be. I do still have ‘meltdowns’ sometimes just out of the blue or on special occasions. The first Christmas season is unbearable but you know that and just have to put one foot in front of the other and get through it which I’m sure you will do. It might help you (as it did me) to think that there are so many others struggling in the same way, you’re not alone and I hope you find some peace this holiday season
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Thank you so much.
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It will be the third Christmas without my David. I seem to be worse than ever this year, so many things spark a memory. I can’t bring myself to get the tree out. It was such a special day, putting on Christmas songs and decorating it with ornaments collected over the years. It would have been our 35th wedding anniversary a couple of days ago. Thinking of all of you who are feeling like me. Take care.
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Third year for me too. First year I think I was still in shock, second year was worse with the realisation that it can never change and this year I have put up the cards and the tree for the first time. so hard to do seeing all the ornaments we’d collected from the various countries and places we’d visited.
Today is a dreadful day, it would have been our 54th wedding anniversary I’ve beed dreading this day for weeks, really hate this time of year now anniversary, Christmas, New Year all on top of each other, cannot wait for it all to be over with.
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