Missing mum 3 and half years on

How do I move forward

Hi Dee, I too lost my mum 4 years ago and I struggle to accept she is no longer here, I cannot sit and think about her without breaking down, I have started to wonder if maybe I need bereavement councilling as I don’t feel I am coping , the only way I deal with it is by pushing my thoughts to back of my mind and I feel that’s not healthy x