Missing Mum every day

#1

I lost my mother 3 months ago…and the pain is actually starting to get worse! I had a terrible fear of losing her all my life and now that it’s happened, it is just so awful. I have a brilliant family who have all been devastated but they seem to be getting on (except perhaps my wee dad who simply adored her). I don’t have my own children and am therfore not distracted by their needs. Has anyone else been where I am? I suppose I’m looking for some advice and some degree of hope that this pain won’t continue to intensify and life will seem worthwhile again.

#2

Hello,

I’m so sorry that you lost your Mum 3 months ago and that you’re having such a tough time at the moment. Losing a parent is so difficult and painful no matter what age we are.

My Mum died 5 years ago and I was devastated. She was my best friend who I would talk to about anything & everything. I understand how you’re feeling, I didn’t think the pain or huge sense of loss would ever be manageable.

It takes time but it does get easier as you learn to live without them and move forward with a different sense of normal. I cried a lot in the first year, even mentioning her would set me off. I had to run out of Marks and Spencer at Christmas as I saw all the party food which my Mum absolutely loved.

In time I was able to talk about her & think about her with happier memories. I still get a sense of loss when I see the Christmas party food but I no longer run out crying.

No-one can replace my Mum so I’m left feeling quite lonely at times & don’t really have anyone that I can talk to the way I talked to my Mum. My Dad tries his best bless him. I had bereavement counselling which really helped me. Now I journal regularly and write the things in my journal that I might have told my Mum. It certainly helps me.

Keep talking to us here and take care. Trudy x

#3

Trudy,

Thanks so much for taking the time to write…it has certainly helped me as you have given me hope that it will become maneagable one day. She too was my best friend and the only person in the world who loved me unconditionally - that’s a hard thing to accept. But every mother is the same with their child I suppose.

I thonk I will arrange for some counselling as you suggest…I had been thinking about that and you have said it really helped you.

Thanks again…so very much appreciated.

Mx