Hello, I’m Chloe, I am 25 mother to 5 beautiful children. I lost my mum in may this year. Terminal cervical cancer. My heart is breaking and it gets worse every day. She was my only parent. She was 43 and was diagnosed October last year, after two years of docters telling her there was nothing wrong. We did not expect to loose her so soon. She left behind 4 girls me and my siblings. It’s been so hard loosing her. I struggle to think about anything else at night. So many things make me cry. She was my closest friends aswell as my mum. I can feel her warmth and smell around all the time. I don’t know how to process this yet. I try to carry on each day but then it hits me that she’s gone. I joined so I can talk with others and hopefully find a way through this. I hope this is okay how are others managing?
Hi Chloe, I’m Bella
Im also 25 and I lost my dad last year in August. It’s his birthday today and so I find myself back on here with feelings I can’t express any other way.
I have learnt so much about both him and myself in this last year, I can’t begin to say how close to him I feel. I imagine you might feel this way about your mum too.
He wasn’t a big talker, but I was closest with him out of myself and my four siblings. We had a special similarity which made us argue a lot, but love each other a lot too, we were the same.
Losing him, (though he was ill) was a ‘drop to the floor shock’ as it happened so suddenly.
I know what your grief feels like, being a young person and having to go through this when friends and people on the streets don’t know how lucky they are to still have their parent. This doesn’t change but you get used to it. It makes me cry sometimes but I am happy for them
This is all still really fresh for you, but I have felt angry for a long time about losing my dad young. Don’t feel like you have to get on with things and move on, because it’s not like that. You’ll just grow around it, that grief will be there but it will just become a part of your tree.
It sounds like your mum had a difficult time and I’m so sorry. You were probably also her best friend and she must have been so proud of you. You have come to the right place to just get things written down and onto a platform for others. Well done for asking for some support, you will not feel alone on here
Hi Bella thankyou for your reply, yes it’s still so raw. Every day feels like I’m reliving it. I was with her when she passed I didn’t leave her side. But in that moment it felt like it wasn’t happening although I was there holding her hand it just didn’t feel real. And still to this date I’m struggling to understand it all. People give you there condolences and ask how you are but they just don’t understand the agonising pain.
It’s even harder as two of my siblings are still very young. So it’s even harder to have to watch them grow up with no parent. I can’t explain the feelings other then pain.
Thankyou for sharing your loss with me and happy birthday to your dad, x
Hi @Bella2 and @Chloelou97
I’m so sorry to hear about your losses.
I lost my mum in March due to cancer. I honestly thought that when we she was diagnosed, she would get better. As stupid as it sounds, you just don’t expect your parents to get ill or go anywhere. It’s really difficult to explain to your friends the pain that you feel. All of my friends are lucky enough to have both parents in their life.
Everyday I just wake up, and for a split second I think everything is OK, and then I just realise that it’s not. It’s just not the same. It just feels like apart of you is just gone.
xx
Yes I feel the exact same every day then at night I struggle to think of anything other then loosing her. It’s definitely a pain people don’t understand unless they’ve gone through it. I was the same altho we was told it was terminal because she was still having chemo and radiotherapy I still believed she would get better or have much more time never ever did I expect to loose her so soon. And now I get so angry everytime I hear her docters because I blame them two years they said there was nothing wrong and by time she did have the test it was already terminal. They’ve alot to answer for and makes me so mad that there going on every day like nothing happened.
It’s pretty much all I think about too. We had a similar situation. My mum had all the symptoms of cancer, and she repeatly told the doctors the issue, but because of all the covid restrictions, they were reluctant to see her. At the point they did finally see her, the tumor was so big they just did chemo and radiotherapy. I always think, if they had seen her sooner they would have caught it before it was so big and unmanable she would still be here.
Yes that’s exactly how I feel. I’m hoping I can find a way through it but each day at the moment is just full of questions. X