I lost my mum suddenly last August, Christmas and New Year passed in a blur it didn’t feel like anything special.
I am coming up to my 1st birthday without mum people keep asking what i want and all i keeping thinking is i want mum back. I feel i am not coping very well at the moment.
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Hi @Lisa0166 I think what you’re experiencing is very common. All these special days bring a huge dose of nostalgia for memories of the past. As a date approaches everything seems so much more intense. It’s my Mum’s birthday tomorrow, last year we were celebrating her 80th and within two weeks she had died, suddenly and unexpectedly. This weekend I am full of sadness. I stood in front of the birthday card display in Sainsburys and had a little weep! Then I decided to try and make the situation positive, so I cooked a nice dinner with a pudding that was my Mum’s speciality for me and my son. We will raise a glass of bubbles to her tomorrow and light a candle. I think, just do what feels right for you on your birthday. There are no rules about these days when grief can be as sharp as knives. When I had my first birthday without my Mum, in September, I tried to do exactly what she would have done for me, so I had cake, a lovely meal and bought a new dress. I looked back at old birthday cards she had given me and remembered her. It worked okay for me. It didn’t take away the sadness of her absence but somehow it made me feel stronger, that I was still including my Mum in the celebrations. I hope you too find a way to manage the occasion, best wishes xx
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I lost my mum in October 23 I just about got through Christmas and new year having to take the place of mum doing the dinner ect then sitting next to a empty place we’re she would normally sit was difficult but we did it the 5 of us me, my dad, my 2 girls and their dad, I felt numb the whole time right up to new year. In march it will be the first Mother’s day without her but also my birthday 2 days later I don’t want to do either we always celebrate mother’s day together it was a very special day to both of us I was born on mother’s day in 1972, she always said I was extra special x
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