I’m normally a person who just deals with things and gets on with it but losing my mum is something I’m really struggling to handle.
I lost my mum suddenly in January and since then life has kind of felt like a blur. She had been sick for a while with pulmonary fibrosis but she had been managing well and was even hopeful in receiving a lung transplant however on the 16th of January she was taken in to hospital with a suspected infection then on the 17th we got told she had cancer and everything changed. Suddenly the transplant was no longer and option and the cancer wasn’t treatable but the goal was to get her through the infection which unfortunately she wasn’t able to do and on the 19th my strong, brave and beautiful mum passed away while I held her hand
Losing the only parent I’ve ever had so young along with being her only child has felt so lonely and I just don’t know what to do anymore. My whole life it’s always been me and her and now there’s just me. There’s so many firsts like Mother’s Day, my 30th birthday, her birthday and all these things that I just don’t know how to get through.
Feels like I’ve been in denial ever since it happened and I thought getting through her funeral would make it feel real that I’m never going to see her, hear her or feeling one of her hugs that I long for but it hasn’t. I still just forget she’s gone but then it randomly hits me and I just feel so broken.
I miss my mum so much and I don’t know how to handle it so that bought me here…
@Jasminelouise I am so sorry for your very recent heartbreaking loss. It truly is so devastating to lose a much loved parent, it’s a brutal experience. This is still very recent and raw for you, so try to take things as they come while you process the shock. You’ve loved your Mum your whole life, over years and years, so it’s no wonder you are feeling the pain of her physical absence. Although it all feels so overwhelming now, gradually you will learn how to manage your grief somehow. I lost my Mum last year and now 13 months later there’s still a weight of sadness. However, I have made a choice to try and find some joy in living again as I know this is what my Mum would want. I know I was blessed to have had her as my Mum so I am trying to focus on how fortunate I was. It’s hard though, as I miss her everyday. Sending you best wishes, take care xx
Hi @Jasminelouise I really feel for you
I lost my mum in September and I’m still in shock that she’s not here. I too was with her and held her hand as she passed, and she brought me up alone, so I have no other parent to turn to. It’s a very lonely feeling, but I understand. I have my husband and friends that I talk to, and although they don’t quite get how awful it is for me and the black cloud that has followed me since, it’s still good to share how you feel. I have OK days where I just about make it through and distract myself with work or TV or reading or go out somewhere. And then I have days where it hits me hard and I get very run down. And like you, I’m only young, in my early thirties, so it makes it so hard knowing how much of my life she’ll miss now. But if your mum is like mine, then she’d want you to carry on, she’d want you to live life. We can’t give up but just take things one day at a time and don’t put any pressure on ourselves to be OK, we’ve lost our mumas, we’ll never fully be OK again, but hopefully we’ll learn to live with the pain and try and make them proud with whatever we do xx
Hi jasmine, my mum passed away with me on the 29th jan, suddenly due to a blood clot after a hip replacement, I’m 29 and have all my firsts to come to, Mother’s Day, her birthday, my 30th… I’m so sorry you lost your mum, mine was also my whole world, and I am completely lost too, please know you’re not alone, it does feel lonely but so many of us are all in the same awful boat. I hope you find the strength to get through those firsts, I’ll be thinking of you on all of my firsts too.
Sending you so much love a huge hug! Xxxx
