I feel depressed as i miss my beloved . This will be my first xmas without my beloved im feeling really sad i cry 
every day it will be 10 months now and I’m hurting inside .
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Hello @Duk45,
I’m so sorry to hear about your partner. Holidays and special occasions can be an especially painful time - and often even more so when they’re the ‘firsts’.
Please know that there is lots of support available if you need it. We have advice and support on coping with grief at Christmas at Coping with grief at Christmas | Sue Ryder.
As well as the online community, offer a range of online bereavement support services that might be helpful to you. You can explore these at sueryder.org/support.
Take good care of yourself,
Seaneen
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Thak you very much