Missing my dad and my grandad

July and August last year I lost 2 very special men in my life. Life has been busy and I have covered my pain by just simply keeping busy and trying to celebrate them at every moment that comes around. I speak very openly to friends and family but im still struggling. I have realised now that I am all over the place, physically and mentally unwell. I have made impulsive decisions, left myself unemployed and struggling for money. I thought I could do this and that but in reality I am exhausted and I aint done anything other than make myself feel worse and miss them even more.
I have been in a state of shock and I am only just coming to the realisation what has happened. I feel worthless at the moment in every aspect of my life and I am now having intrusive thoughts. I wish I could back in time. My family dynamic has completely changed too and its a constant reminder that life will never be as it was.

Hello @ClaireS2,

I can see you’re new to the community - I hope you find it helpful, but I’m sorry for the loss of your dad and grandad that brings you here.

I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts, but I just wanted to share a few suggestions with you.

You mention that you’re struggling. It’s good that you can speak to your friends and family, but do you think some professional support might be helpful too? Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

Take good care - you are not alone.