Missing my dad and suffering mentally

I’m a 32 year old male that lost my father when I was 21.i live with my fiancé(recently proposed)should be all happy and looking forward to the wedding planning and don’t really have any other worries in life but recently I have not being able to sleep and when I do all I do is have dreams about my father and every minute of everyday I’m thinking about him and missing him like crazy.im getting angry that he’s gone and I won’t ever see him again.i thought over the past 11 years I had learnt to cope but recently I really can’t.i don’t want to open up to my fiancé or my mum because I don’t want to burden them with my problems.

I seriously don’t know what to do.the lack of sleep won’t be helping I know but I don’t want to sleep because some of the dreams involving my dad ain’t good ones.

Has anyone else experienced this and had any coping strategies that help?

Hi Dako
Sorry to here about how you are feeling this grief is an unknown Road you think you’re ok then something comes and hits you, it’s only 14 weeks since my dad died and I’m struggling. When I read your post I was thinking maybe it’s because you got engaged and that maybe a step on the road to you becoming a family and maybe a dad that’s triggered the thoughts, maybe look at what helped you when your dad passed some people on tge site keep jornals about their daily thoughts or write to their lost one what they want to say it helps get it out in a safe way. There’s also the web counselling here I’ve had 3 sessions, not told anyone as I don’t want to talk about my feelings with anyone I know and it feels same and the feelings are totally open and never judged please think about this, take good care of yourself maybe even go out for a walk I think of my dad smiling at me and that makes me smile

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My dad died when I was 17 , over 40 years ago.and I still.miss him, like you miss your dad . Try talking to him, about things you did together and about things you’re doing now . It helped me. I still do it .