My Dad passed away 4 weeks ago and I don’t feel like I’m coping very well. Today has not been a good day, probably one of the worst since he died in terms of how I have felt. I’ve been so tearful today and feeling panicky. The panic seems to be getting worse as the days go by, I panic when I think about never seeing him again and I’m panicking that as time goes by I’ll start to forget all the small things, his voice, laugh, smell etc. People keep telling me it’s early days and it will get easier but I just can’t see how. Life carries on around me and I just feel a bit stuck. I’ve looked into counselling as I think that will help and I have supportive friends and family. I just miss him so much.
I am sorry to hear of the passing of your dad. You are in the early stages of grief and it will be a mixture of rollercoaster emotions. Good days and bad days are normal. You will remember the small things about your dad, his voice, smell etc it is your mind just panicking you. When you are out and about certain things will also remind you of him, his favourite flower, garden centre, food, music, etc. You do not forget.
Under the topic Losing a Parent you can connect with members who have experienced what you are going through. This will be of help and support to you too.
Please take care of yourself and continue to reach out. We are here for you.
I’m sorry to hear about the passing of your dad, it’s understandable and perfectly normal in how you are thinking and feeling. I for one am feeling the same so it is nice to relate as weird as that may sound.
I lost my dad in October last year and I still feel how you do from time to time but I keep trying not to think about it because when I do I get sad. But honestly the thought of never seeing him again breaks my heart and as more time goes by the reality sinks in that he is gone. I’ve never lost anyone before so it feels weird. It’s great to hear that you have supportive friends and family that will help you through this situation and the counselling is a good shout.
I can understand the fear of feeling like you’ll forget him especially if you are quite young and feel like you have a lot of years ahead of you (that’s another thing I struggle to come to terms with, this idea that I still have to go a good 30 years without my dad. I can’t imagine it ). However, people say that their memory lives on when you talk about them and i’m sure you have some home videos or pictures to remind you of his voice and laugh, that’ll never disappear, and you’ll be surprised what stuff reminds you of them, even just a certain piece of food for example.
I like to think they’ll never be forgotten because they existed and they are part of the reason we are, who we are today. All the memories they gave us we can hold dear and your family and friends will talk about him so therefore he’ll be there in spirit (as some people say I think).
I hope it gets easier for you and that the counselling helps a bit
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I find it really helpful to hear from others In the same situation as me. I relate to how you feel too, especially the thought of another 30,40 maybe even longer number of years I’ll have to be without him. I guess it hurts so much because we had such wonderful Dads.
No worries at all, it was nice to relate to someone going through having lost their dad as well. Yeah it sucks that this is the reality we have to face and how unfair it is that we lost our dads considering how amazing they were. I mean there are so many worse people out there. I still don’t get why the good people have to go first.
I hope you had a somewhat good day today though, and I know you don’t me personally and you have a supportive friend and family network as it is, but if you ever want to talk, even just to someone who can relate a bit then feel free to message anytime.