I know it’s so cruel isn’t it? The impact is so much wider than just ourselves. My dad has cancer and is having chemo at the moment. He’s 86 and cares for my mum who is in a wheelchair. He has really struggled with losing Caitlin as has my mum- It’s just too much for any of us to cope with but we have no choice have we? Take care and much love xxx
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Thank you Kate. It’s the worst pain ever.
Feels like a lifetime since I saw Henry 
I know that feeling. I have a video of Lisa and Brooke on a fairground ride about this time last year. I play it over and over again. To see her lovely face and hear her voice is a comfort.
With love.
Kate xx
I have a couple of films of Henry and I watch them to hear his voice and see his smile. My husband, other son and grandson are giving me the strength to keep going. It’s just so painful. Thank you for messaging me.
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It’s all we can do. It frightened me that I might forget her voice.xx
I lost my daughter on 21st October 1918, like your self she was my only child, I was her mum and dad as from the age of 3 he walked away, I had counciling which helped at the time but feel totally distraught still every day ,I miss her so much so I feel your pain
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Gosh it must be terrible for you.
We all on this forum understand your pain.
Its only coming up 5 months since we lost our younger daughter. She leaves behind her darling little girl of 3 years old. Lisa’s partner is now Daddy and Mummy to her and is doing a fantastic job. We all miss our girl so much. I don’t think the pain ever leaves us.
With love. Kate xx
I was crying as I read this. There is no worse pain. My daughter didn’t feel well and went to bed, her husband went to wake her some time later and she had died. I too kissed my daughter, she was so cold, and I will never forget that. Neither will I ever forget how I heard my daughter had died, my youngest daughter phoned me and was screaming ‘she’s dead, she’s dead’ . It doesn’t help that after waiting 3 months for the post mortem and toxicology tests that there was no reason why she should have died, their only explanation was that it was like cot death and that it happens to adults. It is two years now and the pain will never go, but it does get easier; I will never stop asking ‘why’. My first husband died whilst we were sitting in the lounge, at the age of 46 of a heart problem that we didn’t know about and I didn’t for one moment think it would happen again and that I would lose one of my children. All I can say is that there is light at the end of the tunnel and getting out and about and finding interests outside the home is what helped me towards the end of the tunnel. My thoughts are with all of you who have lost a child. xx
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Gina2411
I wept reading your post. Life can be so unbelievably cruel. Losing two people you love in such circumstances is appalling.
My life has also been difficult with the boys Dad dying of cancer. Whilst taking care of him I discovered he’d been having an affair for five years…I couldn’t carry on looking after him although he wanted me to. He left and had another child with the other woman. When he died he left his entire estate to her which again devastated my boys. It wasn’t the actual money but lack of acknowledgement that hurt them. All this stress was the root of Henry’s mental health as he worshipped his Dad, as did I. We had to sell the family home although at that point Henry had his own home and child but it had been our home for so long that it was such a sad thing on top of everything else.
I’ve rebuilt my life and both my boys were my inspiration to keep going. Now Henry has died I have his brother George and my husband and grandson plus my wonderful family. I know I can recover as I have no choice and so much to live for too but losing Henry is by far the worst thing I’ve had to cope with. Thank you for reading this and understanding.
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I know too that losing a child who has grown into a wonderful human being is the worst thing I have ever faced in my life. When Lisa was only 6 months she got viral pneumonia and it affected both lungs. Nothing could have stopped it, the virus was airborne and it was just bad luck.
However, she recovered and was a very healthy child till at 14 she had a collapsed lung. This was the start of the real worry but she had a great teenage life and very successful career. It must be just awful losing a baby or young child as I thought I might but when they have grown to be a friend as well as your child, I think the pain and sense of loss is even more horrific!
I am coping, I know I am, not weeping so much and being more sociable but the pain is always there.
Love to you all and thankyou so so much for just being here.
Kate xx
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Thank you for your response. I know you understand the complete devastation I feel and also the lack of any kind of future without my daughter. I am not surprised that you are still feeling distraught every day and you miss your daughter so much - I know I will be the same. I miss my daughter so very much all day and all night every day. You have my total sympathy and prayers xxx
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I had counciling after my daughter Leanne died,through my doctor, counciling did help at the time as I was in a very dark place, I walk her dog on the beach every morning and talk to her,I miss her every day, my daughter was beautiful ,30 year’s old,had lots of amazing friends who keep in touch,she worked full time in a good job, she asparted in her sleep and died instantly after a night out with friends who thought she wasn’t right so put her on the settee and left her instead of phoning 999 which would have saved her, I struggle every day, I’ve felt so much angry towards 2people who left her,don’t ever think life will be the same again, I care for my parent my mum has alsimas and dads had a stroke and also work part time in a nursing home so I’m kept busy otherwise I don’t know where I’d be, miss my beautiful daughter Leanne Lilley 
I struggle every day am totally a mess I feel very alone happy on the outside to the world but in reality a total mess internally, just want her back can’t believe she’s gone.feeling numb still, is this normal?
I think that’s the way we all are really. To others we look and behave like normal but inside we are in turmoil missing our children like nobody else can understand. I can be having a good day then suddenly feel physically sick as I realise Lisa is gone. I miss her with every breath I take. We never stoo loving.
With love. Kate xx
Thankyou kate xx to find people that are going through the same emotions helps me realise that I’m not on my own,
It’s the only way to keep us sane! No one can take away our cherished memories though.
Kate:heartpulse:
Thinking of you all dear Mums and Dads on this site.
Missing our children so terribly as we try to put on brave faces this festive season. We are off to the Panto shortly with little Brooke. It will be so hard as the last time I was in this theatre it was with Lisa too. We took Brooke to see Peppa Pig on stage. I feel sick at the thought of her not being with her wee girl ever again.
Try as we do to hold it all together, when we are alone the pain is greater as we feel so empty.
Sending love and hope for better times to you all.
Kate. Xxx
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Hello everyone
Yesterday we went to a big family party and it was such a struggle without Henry. He loved a good party! We took my grandson and his Mum said he’d been sad missing his Dad and it hit me all over again that we’re without Henry forever. My heart aches so much- desperately missing him. I’ve got lots planned to keep me busy and distracted but finding it so hard. He’s been gone 9 weeks today 
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sending love.
Kate x
Thank you Kate X